Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.9 3/12/85; site unisoft.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!lll-crg!dual!unisoft!tim From: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Meeting people via email/net.singles Message-ID: <558@unisoft.UUCP> Date: Fri, 30-Aug-85 11:21:39 EDT Article-I.D.: unisoft.558 Posted: Fri Aug 30 11:21:39 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 7-Sep-85 04:25:06 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <595@unc.UUCP> <243@gymble.UUCP> <555@unisoft.UUCP> <436@azure.UUCP> Reply-To: tim@unisoft.UUCP (Tim Bessie) Organization: UniSoft Systems, Berkeley Lines: 71 In article <436@azure.UUCP> chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen) writes: > >I have two reasons why I would disagree with the creation of such a newsgroup. > >1) It tends to promote a "meat-rack" attitude tworads personal relationships. > >2) It isn't needed since net.singles provides generally the same facility > (and in a much nicer package I might add). > > Chris Andersen Your criticism is somewhat valid, but I will answer your points: 1) People are not perfect, angelic seekers of happiness. They seek happiness, yes; sometimes it is truly honest and selfless. More often, it is rather selfish; there is nothing at all wrong with being selfish -- it means your first concern is toward yourself: a reasonable attidude. This applies to relationships between people... people ask themselves -- in one way or another -- "What can I get out of this?" Since we are not actually meeting each other over the network, it is much easier to think this way than to be intrigued by someone's personality (which we can't see in this context). This leads to 2) The fact that many (most?) people in net.singles are single people who would like to be in a relationship, myself included. Personally, when I start writing to people on the net, I spend some of my time thinking "Gosh, a real live woman! I wonder if we would get along. I wonder if she is interested in meeting me. Why didn't she answer my last letter? Does She think that I am writing JUST because I want to meet women (which is close to the mark -- if I were out there in real life meeting more women, I wouldn't be so concerned over what happened on the net!)?" All of this goes on, and I'm probably not alone in the confusion and anxiety it sometimes causes. For some people, life itself is a "meat-rack." If they are unhappy and sad, they feel sorry for themselves, and are out for anything they can get. If they are happy and secure, they don't have to worry as much about each relationship, and can "pick and chose." There are many kinds of people, not all of whom think this way. I would say that most of the people on the network are comparatively shy, sensitive people, who are honestly trying to improve their lives socially, sexually, personally, and physically. I trust the folks on the net to not make a "meat-rack" out of the proposed net.personals. Even so, what difference would it make if people treated it that way? You are putting your own internal judgements of what constitutes the proper way to meet people into the matter. If you hear Reagan say that women have enough rights, and we don't "need" an ERA to guarentee them, what do you think? Sure, we don't "need" a lot of things, but, in this case, a newsgroup *specifically* for a (self-imposed) affliction suffered by much of the net community would be greatly appreciated by many (ME TOO!). - Tim --- "He hated the philosophy of his culture that allowed men like himself to mature without direction, without hope, without love. All of which he needed so desperately." --------------------------------------------------------------- ---> Tim Bessie ----- {ucbvax,dual}!unisoft!tim ---> Unisoft Systems; 739 Allston Way; Berkeley, CA 94710 ---> (415) 644-1230 TWX II 910 366-2145