Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site reed.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!ucbvax!decvax!tektronix!reed!purtell From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Living Alone (Actually, net hostility) Message-ID: <1892@reed.UUCP> Date: Wed, 11-Sep-85 17:18:10 EDT Article-I.D.: reed.1892 Posted: Wed Sep 11 17:18:10 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 13-Sep-85 03:42:29 EDT References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP> Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon Lines: 76 Keywords: A little longer than I wanted it to be. In article <517@oakhill.UUCP> hunter@oakhill.UUCP (Hunter Scales) writes: >The original >subject was whether or not wanting to live alone should be considered >abnormal. > Andy expressed the opnion (stated as fact) that people >living alone became "self-indulgent" and intolerant. Elizabeth then >replied, somewhat abrasively, that she didn't agree. Why, thank you! ;-) > She then launched >into a lecture on net etiquette etc. I would hardly call it a lecture. I was just pointing out why people probably reacted so strongly to Andy, since I know what it's like to get flaming letters from something that only stated (or so I thought) how I feel about a subject. > Second, I think it should be obvious that anyone that says >something like "people who live alone become intolerant" is stating >an opnion. After all, a fact is a provable statement and any example >to the contrary negates its validity. So almost everything said in this >group is opinion and should be taken as such. Sure - technically, grammatically, it is an opinion. But - let's face it, there are a lot of people who believe that their opinions are facts. After all, isn't that the basis for most political and religious differences? And I imagine that's how most people took Andy's posting. Since he believes it's an opinion, then everything is jake (at least as far as I'm concerned), but I think that some people felt that he believed his opinion to be a fact. > Third, I dont understand why there seems to be so much hostility >(and not just in this group, either). Why is everyone so quick to attack >even when they are not threatened? Is the economy *that* bad ;-). >What are your opnions on *this* subject? If people read something and to them it says (no matter what the intention of the writer is) "I think that because of your lifestyle you are this and this and this..." and all of those things are negative, then one probably does feel a bit threatened. It's very similar to saying "Because you're gay, you are obviously less moral, etc." Now, I feel no hostility towards Andy (although I was a bit put out for awhile) because I understand that he's only expressing what he feels to be true in some (maybe the majority) of cases. As for hostility, you're right, there is more *expressed* hostility on the net than there would be in most discussion groups. I think that the main reason for that is that it's such an impersonal medium. We don't have to look the person in the eye, we don't have to worry about getting yelled at, we don't have to worry about someone taking a swing at us. It's also, at least for some, a place to channel hostility that is aroused by people that we do have to deal with in person. For instance, right when the living alone topic was at its peak, I was going through a fairly rough period where I felt a lot of hostility towards someone whom I had to see often. So I'm sure that some of that hostility was (subconsciously) channeled into my postings, even when I had an occasional "good day". If I lived near Andy and saw him occasionally, I doubt that my posting would have been quite so "abrasive", partly for the above reasons, and partly because I could talk to him about it in person. For instance, if Rick Lindsley, whom I do see occasionally, posted something that I disagreed with considerably, I would post a followup stating my opinion. But it would probably be rather tame because I could talk to him about it in person later on, say over dinner or breakfast. My point is, that I think the main reason for the hostility on the net is that we don't have to, or we don't have the chance to, depending on how you look at it, talk about these things in person with most of these people. Any other opinions? cheers - elizabeth g. purtell (Lady Godiva)