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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!prls!amdimage!amdcad!amd!vecpyr!lll-crg!gymble!beth
From: beth@gymble.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Cost of long-distance relationships (net.personals)
Message-ID: <322@gymble.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 11-Sep-85 17:06:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: gymble.322
Posted: Wed Sep 11 17:06:20 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Sep-85 01:47:23 EDT
References: <39@csi> <2279@sdcrdcf.UUCP> <1531@peora.UUCP> <199@kepler.UUCP> <3187@nsc.UUCP> <1742@hao.UUCP> <11507@rochester.UUCP>
Reply-To: beth@gymble.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Organization: U of Maryland, Laboratory for Parallel Computation, C.P., MD
Lines: 31

I'd like to toss in my two cents on the long distance relationship
discussion.  Although it has worked for some people who have met
on the net (and some of us who met our LD-SOs by the "normal" methods),
it isn't easy.  I just returned from a five day visit.  When some-
one asks what we did, they are surprised that we DON'T plan special
activities.  We leave lots of time for cuddling and talking.  This
time we also had a directed talk using the list of things Jeff
Sargent posted about what you should discuss before marrying.  We
went out for David's birthday, but we usually only plan one big
activity.  Trying to do our darndest to be "normal" during our
visits and on the phone seems to help our relationship.  

We've been 500 miles apart for over two years.  It will be at least
another year before we are together (but hopefully not much more).
We try to visit once a month for five days or so.  I'm now paying
$133 round trip (30 day advance purchase) for each visit.  We pay
at least $100 a month for our long distance bills.  That comes up
to about $3000 a year.  Even if we cut back on the visits, drive
some ways, and make other cost-cutting moves, we will easily spend
over $2000 a year on keeping up this relationship.  We figure that
we gain somewhat by not dating in-between visits.  Yes, it is worth
it in our case, but I wouldn't start an LDR unless I was pretty
sure that it was worth it. 

I've had a number of people respond to postings on net.singles.
I've responded to some, but not to start a relationship.  I 
think this is a good forum for developing friendships.  Adding
a note to your signature stating that you are available seems
like a good idea.
				Beth Katz
				{seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!beth