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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!unc!mcnc!ncsu!ikonas!mcm
From: mcm@ikonas.UUCP (Mike Mitchell)
Newsgroups: net.suicide
Subject: misc. ramblings
Message-ID: <199@ikonas.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Sep-85 20:05:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: ikonas.199
Posted: Thu Sep 12 20:05:52 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Sep-85 08:24:08 EDT
Organization: Adage Inc., Raleigh, NC
Lines: 32

I'd like to know how other people get over the various humps in their lives.
Currently I'm questioning my reason for being, and haven't found any
answers I'll accept.  I'm sure other people must occasionly get into
this state of mind.

I don't have any dependents, and I never had.  I know at least a half-dozen
people in this area that could do my job as well or better than I can.
The only friends I have I made at work, and most of them now work somewhere
else and I don't see them very often.  I have no social life, because
I'm always fixing problems to stop customers from screaming.  The customer
is screaming because some one else sat on the problem for months, and now
we're way over a deadline.  I gave up a social life long ago when I went
for 2 degrees in four years while working part time.  My social skills are
nill, and I doubt that anyone would really want to associate with someone
whose work is his total life.  Someone called me a nerd at work today,
and I just realized it must be true.

I've heard that someone who attempts suicide is really looking for attention.
If that is true, why have I planned my own suicide in great detail, such that
it would look like an accident or a murder?  I don't want my suicide to
upset the few people that might care for me, whomever they are.

I'm sorry this has gone on for so long.  I hoped maybe letting out some
of my feelings would prevent me from wrapping my car around a tree.


	"Life - Loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it" - Marvin

	"Oh lucy, it's a pity
	you don't understand.
	Everyday is a rerun
	and the laughter's always canned." - Weird Al