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From: johnl@ima.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Name Changes
Message-ID: <100100001@ima.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 25-Aug-85 23:04:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: ima.100100001
Posted: Sun Aug 25 23:04:00 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 28-Aug-85 20:25:36 EDT
References: <400@mhuxr.UUCP>
Lines: 36
Nf-ID: #R:mhuxr:-40000:ima:100100001:000:2067
Nf-From: ima!johnl    Aug 25 23:04:00 1985


When my wife and I got married seven years ago, it never seriously occurred to 
us that either would change his or her name.  Other than a little unexpected 
razzing from her mother, it's never been a problem.  We've lived in 
Connecticut and Massachusetts, bought a house, dealt with banks, used credit 
cards, etc., without any particular bureaucratic trouble.  The government 
seems not to care what you call yourself so long as you pay your taxes.  
(Actually, Hawaii used to consider a woman's name to be changed when she 
married and she had to go into court to change it back as though she were 
changing it to something entirely different.) 

It was kind of an eye-opener when somebody would call on the phone looking
for my wife, and say "oh, you must be Mr. Spitzer" (her name.)  After a
while I didn't even bother trying to correct them.  And you get the most
interestingly addressed mail from people trying to be tactful -- my favorite
was one addressed to Mr. and Ms. Lydia Spitzer.  As has been noted elsewhere,
you also instantly know when to hang up on somebody who calls about the
swell prize that Mrs. Levine (my name) has just won.

My sister got married last fall and planned to keep her own name for business 
and use her husband's name socially.  She has no legal trouble, but has great 
confusion deciding when to use which name.  I get the impression that she may 
well end up keeping her own name everywhere.  

As far as children go, if you want to name the kid after George Washington,
why not name him George Washington?  (Or, more plausibly, name him after
his maternal great-grandfather whose name was not that of either of the
spouses.)  This might confuse elementary schools, but I figure that's their
problem.  My opinion on this may moderate when actually presented with a
descendant, of course.

But anyway, the point of this ramble is that if you don't want to be known
by your spouse's name all the time, you should consider keeping your own
name everywhere.

John Levine, ima!johnl (spouse of Lydia Spitzer, sometimes ima!lydia)