Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rochester.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!rochester!ray From: ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Re: Name Changes Message-ID: <11313@rochester.UUCP> Date: Mon, 2-Sep-85 09:44:35 EDT Article-I.D.: rocheste.11313 Posted: Mon Sep 2 09:44:35 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 4-Sep-85 05:20:47 EDT References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP> <508@osiris.UUCP> Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept. Lines: 47 > Changing one's identity, presumably for life, is *NOT* a trivial > issue. If it were, why aren't men changing *their* names upon marriage ? > The wife's name-change is a relic of times when women were chattel, > property, and if that's how you look at your wife, then you're the one who > has some problems. Personally, I would not want to marry a man who would not > agree to my keeping my name. > -- > jcpatilla > > "The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch." *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** Why doesn't the preacher say "and now the bride may kiss the groom? Why is there no flower boy following the groom? Why is there no shower for the man, instead of a party that wrecks his brain for weeks? Because this is simply the way things have evolved. To make more out of simple tradition than exists is just looking for trouble where there isn't any until you play magician and create it out of thin air. If one so desired, one could easily make an issue out of a million and one pratices that have evovled into traditions down through the ages. I don't blame you for not wanting to marry a man who would treat you as prop- erty. Who would want to? But why are you suggesting that changing names means the same today as it did long ago? Who told you that or did you surmise this yourself? You are going to get married presumedly because you love and or respect each other. If this, the very foundation with which to build a life on, is shattered simply by changing one's name, than I seriously have to doubt the sincerity of your reasons for wanting to get married. If you fear losing your identity because of a name change, then you most likely have a shaky self image to begin with. The ones who stand a chance to lose their identity are the children and their children and so on. What if a girl's name is Linda Sadowsky-Tannenberg? She marries John Pollichicho-Murphy. Their daughter becomes Lucy Pollichicho-Murphy-Sadowsky-Tannenberg. And so on. If you really feel that you will lose your identity for life, don't be too con- cerned, 1 out of 2 marriages are currently failing within seven years. If this misfortune befalls you, you can then reclaim your old identity. By the way, on second marriages, the statistics are even worse. It is almost as though you make it the first time around or you usually don't make it. Saying 'losing your identity for life' is a bit optimistic if not unrealistic in light of the current statistics.