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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!ucbvax!decwrl!chabot@miles.DEC (All God's chillun got guns)
From: chabot@miles.DEC (All God's chillun got guns)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Re RAPE, etc.../ \"understanding\" horrible behavior and people
Message-ID: <277@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 3-Sep-85 13:16:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.277
Posted: Tue Sep  3 13:16:56 1985
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Piotr Berman
>    It appears that men are in even worse position toward rape than women.
> Since men are not supposed to be weak, the humiliation is correspondingly
> bigger.  Also, it is much less expected.  My though was that the victims
> from DC jails were in the position of women some years ago, when being
> a victim of rape was shameful.  

I do not think that the humiliation is bigger--however its sources may be
different.  Perhaps the stereotype of women being weak is widely held, but
to an individual woman who hasn't been raised to think of herself as weak
such an assault can be just as unexpected; moreover an assault from an
source such as a friend or someone closer is nearly always unexpected.
Humiliation for a woman has been more recently tied more to morals--a woman who
was raped has her morals questioned (has she been involved in >gasp<
non-marital sex, for instance), because sex for women was often tied to shame
(I realize things have changed recently!); the corresponding shame for men is
that of sex with another man -- homosexuality. [Not that I condemn
homosexuality!] These aren't my views of the situation--immoral woman or
homosexual man--but I have heard them in the mouths of others, and they do both
relate to a perceived (not mine!) moral problem of the victim. 

Being a victim of rape is still shameful, from what I've seen: it makes many
people uncomfortable and so they'll stop talking to a friend who's a victim.
(Not everybody, but some.)

L S Chabot   ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot