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From: gkloker@utai.UUCP (Geoff Loker)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name Changes
Message-ID: <695@utai.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 5-Sep-85 15:25:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: utai.695
Posted: Thu Sep  5 15:25:14 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 5-Sep-85 16:41:48 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP> <508@osiris.UUCP> <11313@rochester.UUCP>
Reply-To: gkloker@utai.UUCP (Geoff Loker)
Organization: CSRI, University of Toronto
Lines: 58
Summary: 

In article <11313@rochester.UUCP> ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank) writes:
>> 	Changing one's identity, presumably for life, is *NOT* a trivial
>> issue. If it were, why aren't men changing *their* names upon marriage ?
>> The wife's name-change is a relic of times when women were chattel,
>> property, and if that's how you look at your wife, then you're the one who 
>> has some problems. Personally, I would not want to marry a man who would not
>> agree to my keeping my name.
>> -- 
>> jcpatilla

 [Some stuff about how much of the traditions surrounding weddings are
  traditions which have evolved over the ages.]

>If one so desired, one could easily make an issue out of a million and one
>pratices that have evovled into traditions down through the ages.

Tradition isn't any sort of excuse for continuing a practice.  If it were,
where would Office Automation be?  (Traditionally, all work was done by
hand.)  Just imagine how little impact new technology would have on society.
After all, before the automobile came, it was traditional to go by horse.
Let's face it -- Tradition is no excuse to oppose change.

>    . . .  You are going to get married presumedly because you love and or
>respect each other. If this, the very foundation with which to build a life on,
>is shattered simply by changing one's name, than I seriously have to doubt the
>sincerity of your reasons for wanting to get married.

Why assume that this is going to shatter the love and respect that they have
for each other?  My wife and I love and respect each other without having
to have the same last name.  I almost think that we love and respect each
other more because of that.

>If you fear losing your identity because of a name change, then you most likely
>have a shaky self image to begin with.

Try this test:  Imagine you are getting married and your spouse expects you
to change your name.  Would you be willing to do that?  
It's not such a trivial matter after all, is it?

>       . . .                             The ones who stand a chance to lose 
>their identity are the children and their children and so on.  What if a girl's
>name is Linda Sadowsky-Tannenberg?  She marries John Pollichicho-Murphy. Their 
>daughter becomes Lucy Pollichicho-Murphy-Sadowsky-Tannenberg.  And so on.

There are algorithms for paring down hyphenated last names, making the
"loss of identity" equal for both the man and the woman.  Also, hyphenated
last names are not the only solution to naming children.  Maybe we should
take a look at other alternatives before crying "Unfair to the children."
-- 
Geoff Loker
Department of Computer Science
University of Toronto
Toronto, ON
M5S 1A4

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