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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!oliveb!tymix!whitehur
From: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name Changes
Message-ID: <504@tymix.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 4-Sep-85 12:03:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: tymix.504
Posted: Wed Sep  4 12:03:04 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 6-Sep-85 02:47:26 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP> <508@osiris.UUCP> <11313@rochester.UUCP>
Reply-To: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Organization: Tymnet Inc., Cupertino CA
Lines: 35
Summary: 

In article <11313@rochester.UUCP> ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank) writes:

>> ... Personally, I would not want to marry a man who would not
>> agree to my keeping my name.
>> -- 
>> jcpatilla
>
>...  You are going to get married presumedly because you love and or
>respect each other. If this, the very foundation with which to build a life on,>is shattered simply by changing one's name, than I seriously have to doubt the
>sincerity of your reasons for wanting to get married.
>
>If you fear losing your identity because of a name change, then you most likely
>have a shaky self image to begin with....

I would also not marry someone who required me to change my name.  A name
change at 21 may be trivial, but it isn't 15 years into a career.  I have
already looked up an old contact I would not have found without a
hyphenated name. And been asked about the job qualifications of women whose
last names I did not recognize.  A name is how we tell the rest of the
world what we are and what we stand for.  What we are may not change when
we marry, but it sure is a hassle telling the rest of the world that what
we are is now called something else.

Aside from what I feel about my own name, it is the couple's decision.
They are the ones who deal with 'too many characters', and 'too many
hyphens', and their own childrens names, and their parents reactions.

You are right about a couple having problems if they cannot agree on what
their last names will be.  I just don't think it has to be the man's name,
or even the same.

-- 

           PKW 
hplabs!oliveb!tymix!whitehur