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From: falk@uiucuxc.Uiuc.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name Changes
Message-ID: <43800004@uiucuxc>
Date: Wed, 11-Sep-85 14:56:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucuxc.43800004
Posted: Wed Sep 11 14:56:00 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 13-Sep-85 03:48:54 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP>
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Nf-ID: #R:elsie.UUCP:-521100:uiucuxc:43800004:000:2133
Nf-From: uiucuxc.Uiuc.ARPA!falk    Sep 11 13:56:00 1985


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When my husband and I got married, we took each others name. He added my
name as an extra middle name and I added his name at the end, but continue,
for the most part, to "go by" by pre-married name. I chose NOT to hyphenate
because I thought that looked awkward, but many people (institutions) can't
handle that so they either drop one of the last names, hyphenate them on their
own or make one of my last names my first name! Our daughter bears both of
our names, and can choose the one she wants to use when she is older (she's
only 1 now and doesn't care). Our families had no problem with the concat-
enation, the social security administration, on the other hand, told me that
my name was "too long" (4 letters in my name, 10 letters in my husbands). They,
obviously, wanted me to "give in" and drop my part of the name. I told them
that I was sorry it was too long for them, but that it was my name, nonetheless.When I got my SS card several weeks later, everything fit on it just fine.

Married friends of ours kept their own names and named their daughter with the
wife's last name last and the husband's as a middle name.  

I guess my point is that it was important to me to keep my name- after 25yrs. I
really felt it was a part of me; however, I also wanted to add my husband's 
name (and he mine) to indicate that we *were* adding a new dimension to our
life in a permanent fashion. As an aside to that, we have credit cards in each
of our names and a random division of utilities, etc., in one or the other
names. However, we have had some people *insist* on using my husband's name
as the "name of record" (e.g., on a recent mortgage application, I filled out
the form listing me as the principal applicant and my husband as the co-
applicant- the bank changed it. We are both employed making roughly the same
amount of money).

The issue of names can be complicated, and may not seem real important to
those who don't normally have to consider the impact of changing their
names in mid-life (i.e., most men).  But reasonable solutions can be worked
out.

Connie J. Falk Milosevich
(aka, uiucdcs!uiucuxc!falk)
.