Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site x.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!cybvax0!frog!x!wjr From: wjr@x.UUCP (Bill Richard) Newsgroups: net.abortion Subject: And I'll do it again if I must Message-ID: <771@x.UUCP> Date: Mon, 23-Sep-85 20:16:00 EDT Article-I.D.: x.771 Posted: Mon Sep 23 20:16:00 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 28-Sep-85 06:18:48 EDT References: <418@oliven.UUCP> Reply-To: wjr@x.UUCP (STella Calvert) Organization: Charles River Data Systems, Framingham MA Lines: 126 Summary: A pro-wanted point of view Note: This is STella Calvert, a guest on this account. Route flames to /dev/aspirator! Send reasonable reaction to ...decvax!frog!wjr and it will reach me. Claimer: These opinions are mine! You can use them if you like, but I'd prefer you grew your own. In article <418@oliven.UUCP> barb@oliven.UUCP (Barbara Jernigan) writes: >I've been reading this newsgroup for several months now, and must >admit that I've seen little progress toward a resolution of the 'two' >viewpoints ('pro-life' and 'pro-choice'). I object to "pro-life" for the same reason that its followers would object to being described as "pro-unwanted". I have aborted, I may do it again if birth control fails again. But that does NOT make me anti-life. Anti-slavery, perhaps, but not anti-life. > what I'm really curious to see is *WHY* females (women >and girls) do get abortions. Yes, yes, I know, promiscuous sex, ignorance >and all that falling under the general hat of Unwanted Pregnancy. I got an abortion because I was pregnant. That _is_ the usual reason. I'll explain shortly, but let me make this point first. There are other reasons for not wanting a pregnancy than "promiscuous sex, ignorance and all that". In the case of my medical abortion, I had not been informed that use of antibiotics can interfere with the IUD, causing me to commit an unwanted fetus. But that is not "ignorance"; I had researched the possible methods of birth control, decided against the Pill since it had failed once, given me migraines, and seemed (almost :-) to work by extinguishing my libido. Since I felt and feel that commiting unwanted children is wrong for me, that left me with the IUD. In fact, I was several years post-abortion before I found anything in the medical literature that suggests antibiotics can interfere with IUD function. I don't blame my gynecologist for imperfect knowledge. > But many >"unwanted pregnancies" have gone on to live fruitful lives -- and some have >lived damned miserable lives. No child should be born unwanted. I was an unwanted; I'm satisfied with the last eighteen years of my life, but the first part I would not wish on Jerry Falwell! > No, what I am curious about is why a woman/girl >would CHOOSE abortion over the other options (adoption being one)? What >goes (or does not go) into her mind when making this decision? My earliest memory was dateable fairly accurately to about eighteen months. Before that, nothing. I was responsible for that unwanted scrap of potential humanity. Not some adoption agency, not some caseworker. Me. Myself. STella Calvert. I am not saying that children under eighteen months are good candidates for post-natal abortion/murder/whatever. But there was nothing in my personal experience that suggested to me that at -7.5 months I was a person. If the fetus were a person, it makes little difference, because I am not a slave, and I will not involuntarily serve as a baby factory. A slave, I firmly believe, has the right to kill its slaveholder if necessary to escape from slavery. But if I create life, choose to nurture it in my body, I must continue to be responsible for that life after its birth. (Note: I am not prescribing morality to you, just attempting to describe the constraints on MY actions.) During my scramble for funds for my abortion, I met a woman who had become pregnant in 1930. She had to watch that daughter starve. I still don't know her name, but on behalf of my nonborn child I thank her for her help. Rather than surrender a _child_ to the "mercies" of the adoption system, I chose to abort a fetus. This was my decision, and only mine. (Please understand -- I am NOT saying that having an unwanted is a sin for anyone else. I may or may not think it is, but I KNOW that I have no right to tell anyone else what a sin is. Like it doesn't quite say in the bible, judge not and don't let anyone else mind your own business.) > If we could understand the mechanics of that decision, the >awful emotional position of being faced with the untenable choice of bearing >an unwanted fetus to term -- or to terminate it. But there is not one position, or even two or three positions. We are all different. I'm sure there will be women reading this, who have had abortions, but who disagree strongly with my position. I expect to have to delete much flamage from my mailbox. (BTW, if you have a point to make, put it in your message before the flame, because I probably won't read more than a paragraph of flame unless I think it's _exceptionally_ funny.) And I've been on the verge of unsubscribing from this group ever since I found out that it doesn't deal with the techniques of abortion, relative safety, considerations for homedone abortion and the like. Where are _these_ discussions? I don't approve of homemade abortion, by the way, but sometimes it is the only choice. And I would do it rather than commit an unwanted, send it to be raised by strangers, and wonder ever after if that noxious little twerp, taught by its mother to scream "baby murderer" at women going into Planned Parenthood, was actually my fault. >In sum, I would like to see some 'brass tacks' discussion about the WHY >of abortion -- it's one thing to take a position on moral -- and issue- >inexperienced -- grounds, quite another to argue from a point of intimate >knowledge. To summarize, then. The values I grew for myself do not permit abdicating responsibility for a fetus permitted to reach term. Therefore, if I had carried that fetus and turned it into a baby, I could not have given it up for adoption. I can adopt a child, and someday I may. But I cannot evade my responsibility for a life once I have commited it. The last time I was pregnant, I knew that I could not freely consent to undertake that responsibility. So with a certain curiosity about what could have been, I did the most loving thing I could for that unwanted, unintentional slaveholder. I prevented it from growing into an unwanted, unintentional child. I'm sure some of you are cracking your knuckles, hovering over your keyboards, and getting ready to deny that love (or anything but selfishness) had any part in my decision. But that's OK, you didn't have to abort it, and if ever you or your love is pregnant, I hope before the possibly existent gods above that you are as sure, as content, and as satisfied with the wisdom of your decision. >I know there was one posting from a woman who had an abortion -- and she >was regrettably flamed, no doubt scaring off any others so inclined. That's OK, I'll buy marshmallows and unfold a coathanger if it gets too hot. STella Calvert (guest on ...!decvax!frog!wjr) Every man and every woman is a star. Brought to you by Super Global Mega Corp .com