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From: mfs@mhuxr.UUCP (Damballah Wedo)
Newsgroups: net.abortion
Subject: Re: "The child of a fiend"
Message-ID: <450@mhuxr.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 5-Oct-85 19:51:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: mhuxr.450
Posted: Sat Oct  5 19:51:03 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 6-Oct-85 07:14:43 EDT
References: <5986@cbscc.UUCP> <5@uscvax.UUCP> <6032@cbscc.UUCP>
Organization: The Poto Mitan in the Houmfor
Lines: 62

> Paul Dubuc:
> 
> Who *is* psychologically prepared to handle the trauma associated with
> being the victim of rape?  Does abortion really lessen the trauma?
> Might not it add to it.  The woman *is* the mother of the child (though
> not a willing one) and the child that is being stigmatized is hers
> as well as his.  Could abortion possibly add to the trauma of rape
> in some cases?  

We don't know and will never know. Although your argument is valid on its
face, I can also see the horrible scenario when the violation a woman has
had to endure is visited upon her daily over some twenty years of raising
this so very unwanted child. Should *she* not be the one to decide?

What should the woman tell the child who asks "where/who is my father?"
How does the woman, especially if she lives in a small town, deal with
acquaintances and neighbors who know of the circumstances of conception?

Yes, abortion might be the psychologically worse option. The point is *you
don't know that*, the *woman* does. The pro-choice stand is that *she*
should decide what to do with this product of her humiliation.

> >                               If you could overcome those feelings and not
> >let that affect the way you treat the child then you are a good man. 
> >Probably, most people are not that good.
> 
> Should most people not try to be that "good"?
 
But most people cannot be *legally* expected to be this good.

> I can somewhat imagine my own daughter in this light.  I think that as
> she grew and I got to know her more for who she *is, herself*--seeing
> her run and play, laugh and cry, etc.--I would become more convinced that
> any such association of hate with her would be totally unfounded.  I know
> there are couples who have had this experience.  The same may be said for
> stigmas that are attached to women and Blacks.  We may take them for
> granted when we view such people as objects, but get to know some of them
> and you come to realize that stigmas are foolish.  This is not to say
> that the process of overcoming them is easy.  It isn't.  But since when do
> we judge the right or wrong of such stigmas by their difficulty in being
> overcome?

You are an admirable man, Paul. But consider what your reactions might be
if this child were to become a rebellious, "problem" child. After all, one
half her genes are totally unknown to you. I don't mean to suggest this will
happen, but what if she gets into some serious trouble? Can you be sure
your reactions will not for a fleeting moment be that "well, at least she is
not mine." Even if you are absolutely certain you will remain a loving
parent, can you legally require every other parent to be as admirable as you?

> I think it's important to note that aborting the child and having
> to raise her are not the only alternatives.  If the parents are not
> "good enough" to overcome the stigma attached to the child themselves,
> this would be a much lesser burden for adoptive parents.

There is still the matter of nine months of pregnancy to go through.
-- 

Marcel-Franck Simon		ihnp4!{mhuxr, hl3b5b}!mfs

	" Papa Loko, ou se' van, ou-a pouse'-n alle'
	  Nou se' papiyon, n-a pote' nouvel bay Agwe' "


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