Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site tellab1.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!tellab1!barth From: barth@tellab1.UUCP (Barth Richards) Newsgroups: net.bizarre Subject: THE END OF THE WORLD (and its subsequent replacement) Message-ID: <586@tellab1.UUCP> Date: Tue, 17-Sep-85 13:31:15 EDT Article-I.D.: tellab1.586 Posted: Tue Sep 17 13:31:15 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 18-Sep-85 05:20:53 EDT Distribution: net.bizarre Organization: Tellabs, Inc., Lisle, IL Lines: 321 Keywords: cricket, Krikkit, Australian margarine manufacturers, mice, Magratheans, the Earth, the Earth Mark II, dolphins, Vogon Constructor Fleet, Thursday, THE END OF THE WORLD Approved: or Fleet, Thursday, THE END OF THE WORLD For those of you on net.bizarre who do not keep up with net.tv.drwho (especially those who have read Douglas Adams), you may be interested in the following exerpts from that net: From: nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) Subject: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 2 Sep 85 13:37:02 GMT Date-Received: 2 Sep 85 21:06:15 GMT Organization: Terminus Hospital, Incorporated Lines: 32 Well, the bad news is that all signs point to the arrival of the Vogon constructor fleets this Thursday, to wit: In Life, the Universe, and Everything, Douglas Adams forcast the destruction of earth to occur the Thursday following a victory by England in the test series for the Ashes against Australia in the decade of the 1980's in England. To-day the English look pretty much assured of a major victory (upset) against the Australians in the last test at the Oval. It may already be over as I am typing this. Furthermore, the Australians do not return for a test series for the Ashes to England until 1990. The actual destruction wioll taken place on the Thursday following the Test at noon BST, 7AM on the East Coast (I will be driving to work, my car stereo ought to be fixed by then, so I should hear the notice clearly!). So long folks, it looks like this is it. PS A sofa did appear and disappear to-day at the Oval, interrupting play. I guess NJN won't be showing Hartnell, Troughton, & Colin Baker after all. -- James C. Armstrong, Jnr. {ihnp4,cbosgd,akgua}!abnji!nyssa Maybe they'll want one of your women to experiment on, perhaps I shall take this one to them! -who said it, what story? (Get the reply to me by Thursday!) ************************* From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 4 Sep 85 05:58:36 GMT Date-Received: 4 Sep 85 16:21:07 GMT Organization: Uncle Chuqui's Lemming Farm Lines: 17 James missed a VERY obvious line. Not being one to pass up such a horrible straight line, I am filling in this oversight for him... He said: In article <844@abnji.UUCP> nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) writes: >So long folks, it looks like this is it. When he should have said: So long, and thanks for all the fish. chuq (don't bother to comment, I'm already embarassed -- rotten tomatoes to net.veg...) -- Chuq Von Rospach nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA {decwrl,hplabs,ihnp4}!nsc!chuqui ************************** From: trudel@topaz.RUTGERS.EDU (Jonathan D.) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 5 Sep 85 17:45:32 GMT Date-Received: 6 Sep 85 23:06:58 GMT Organization: The Thunderdome Lines: 27 > > James missed a VERY obvious line. Not being one to pass up such a horrible > straight line, I am filling in this oversight for him... > > He said: > In article <844@abnji.UUCP> nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) writes: > >So long folks, it looks like this is it. > > When he should have said: > > So long, and thanks for all the fish. > Well,I presume that James is NOT a dolphin (Well...) I think that in spirit of true human form, he almost got it right. He should have said: "So this is it, we're going to die." That seems to be the proper response you humans give when faced with impossible odds. Oh, I'll never understand the whole lot of you. -- Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: trudel@blue.rutgers.edu.arpa uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!trudel Bill: He's hip, he's hot, and he's hairy. -Rolling Stone *********************** From: nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 5 Sep 85 12:18:27 GMT Date-Received: 6 Sep 85 23:26:17 GMT Organization: Terminus Hospital, Incorporated Lines: 11 For those of you who didn't notice, the world ended 1 hour and 13 minutes ago. We are now all living as an illusion. -- James C. Armstrong, Jnr. {ihnp4,cbosgd,akgua}!abnji!nyssa *************************** From: dbmk1@stc.UUCP (Derek Bergin) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 4 Sep 85 08:31:12 GMT Date-Received: 7 Sep 85 03:03:34 GMT Organization: STC Telecoms, London N11 1HB. Lines: 27 In article <844@abnji.UUCP> nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) writes: >To-day the English look pretty much assured of a major victory >(upset) against the Australians in the last test at the Oval. Upset ?? UPSET!!!! Prepare to defend yourself sir ! My seconds will call on you later. -> :-) > > >PS A sofa did appear and disappear to-day at the Oval, interrupting >play. > Yeah - it was the Australian "batsmen". Regards Derek !seismo!mcvax!ukc!stc!dbmk1 I've heard that re-incarnation is making a come-back. PS To anyone in OZ who might get this and see you in '87. ********************** From: nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5 September, 1985! Date: 6 Sep 85 11:40:14 GMT Date-Received: 7 Sep 85 21:00:26 GMT Organization: Terminus Hospital, Incorporated Lines: 56 >In article <844@abnji.UUCP> nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) writes: >>To-day the English look pretty much assured of a major victory >>(upset) against the Australians in the last test at the Oval. > >Upset ?? UPSET!!!! >Prepare to defend yourself sir ! I am! I must call it an upset! Consider: 1982-3: England beaten for the Ashes in Australia, finish LAST in a one day tournament. 1983: England loses their first match at home to New Zealand ever! 1984: England swept at home (first time ever) by the West Indies. That winter, Australia performs credibly against the West Indies. England are also drawn at home by Sri Lanka! (Remember that?) When I was last in England (May of this year) very few people gave England a chance against Australia. I, actually, was one of the few. (For confirmation, ask Ian Raine at mcvax!ukc!stc!iclkid!ijr.) >My seconds will call on you later. Afraid to fight your own battles? :-) > -> :-) > > >> >>PS A sofa did appear and disappear to-day at the Oval, interrupting >>play. >> >Yeah - it was the Australian "batsmen". > > >Regards > Derek > >!seismo!mcvax!ukc!stc!dbmk1 > >I've heard that re-incarnation is making a come-back. Are you refering to G Gooch? >PS To anyone in OZ who might get this and see you in >'87. This is assuming that you lot survive this winter! Gee, it must be hard being a low order batsman for the West Indies when you play England, you never get the chance to bat.... -- James C. Armstrong, Jnr. {ihnp4,cbosgd,akgua}!abnji!nyssa *********************** From: crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 7 Sep 85 20:36:20 GMT Date-Received: 8 Sep 85 21:10:17 GMT Organization: Duke University Lines: 10 In the mean time, I would like to note that (according to my watch, which says it is now about 1600 Saturday) that we seem to have all been successfully restored from the dump tape (or whatever the mice are using.) Charlie -- Charlie Martin (...mcnc!duke!crm) **************************** From: barth@tellab1.UUCP (Barth Richards) Subject: re:RE: The End of The World, Thursday 5ZSeptember (C. Martin) Date: 10 Sep 85 15:21:42 GMT Date-Received: 10 Sep 85 15:21:42 GMT Organization: Tellabs, Inc., Lisle, IL Lines: 43 Keywords: mice, end of the world Charlie, the mice had nothing to do with the reconstruction of the Earth. Remember, Frankie mouse and Benjie mouse (the only surviving mice from the Earth project) invented the ultimate question "How many roads must a man walk down?" in order to have enough material for when they did their tour of the 5D tv chat-show and lecture circuit. So, having come up with "an ultimate question that sounds good," they abandonded the Earth project and cancelled their contract with the Magretheans for the construction of the Earth Mark II. It was the dolphins who had the Earth reconstructed from the Magrethean's original blueprint (see SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH, chapter 32). "Maybe I was a bit too subtle (about the reconstruction of the Earth and who paid for it.)" (Douglas Adams talking about SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH on "Extension 720" radio talk show, WGN, Chicago.) Indeed he was; it may take two (or even three) rereadings of the chapter to get it. Barth Richards Tellabs, Inc. Lisle, IL p.s. to James Armstrong/Nyssa of Traken: Not many of us on the net have a copy of Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's TIME TRAVELER'S HANDBOOK OF 1001 TENSE FORMATIONS. When I try to order it at my local bookstore, the sales clerk acts as if she has no choice whatsoever but to thrash at me about the face and neck with a hard cover edition of ROGET'S THEASAURUS and a gift edition of FIFTY-THREE MORE THINGS TO DO IN ZERO GRAVITY. So, in deference to those among us who are without Dr. Streetmentioner's tome, please refrain from using grammatical constructions of a temporally convoluted nature (e.g. wioll taken place). Thanks. "Why not have a seance? Why not go mad?" -Ford Prefect "6 x 9 = 42" -The Earth "Ford, do you know that robot can hum like Pink Floyd?" -Arthur Dent ************************* From: ewan@uw-june (Ewan Tempero) Subject: Re: The End of the World, Thursday 5ZSeptember, 1985! Date: 12 Sep 85 00:18:37 GMT Date-Received: 14 Sep 85 02:56:36 GMT Organization: U of Washington Computer Science Lines: 8 Hmmmm. It occurs to me that I haven't seen any dolphins in a while..... -- Ewan ------------ Ewan Tempero "Oh no, not again" UUCP: ...!uw-beaver!uw-june!ewan ARPA: ewan@washington.ARPA Please check all nuclear arms at the door. ****************************** Considering that the earth has been replaced, and considering that everything you think you see/hear/feel around you, including all the work you thought you had to get done, all the people around you--including your boss, and yourself, are replacements, and considering that the new you can worry about all that, you may take the rest of the day off. Brought to you by Super Global Mega Corp .com