Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site bmcg.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!umcp-cs!gymble!lll-crg!dual!qantel!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sdcsvax!bmcg!bobn From: bobn@bmcg.UUCP (Bob Nebert) Newsgroups: net.bizarre Subject: BIZARRE GAZZETTE vol.8 Message-ID: <1874@bmcg.UUCP> Date: Thu, 12-Sep-85 14:20:48 EDT Article-I.D.: bmcg.1874 Posted: Thu Sep 12 14:20:48 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 20-Sep-85 00:52:37 EDT Distribution: net Organization: Burroughs Corp. ASG, San Diego, CA. Lines: 109 ****************************************************************************** * ##### # ###### ## ##### ##### ###### * # # # # # # # # # # # *********** * ##### # # # # # # # # ##### * # # # # ###### ##### ##### # ********* * # # # # # # # # # # # * ##### # ###### # # # # # # ###### ******* * * #### ## ###### ###### ###### ##### ##### ###### ***** * # # # # # # # # # # * # # # # # ##### # # ##### *** * # ### ###### # # # # # # * # # # # # # # # # ## * * #### # # ###### ###### ###### # # ###### ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ EDITOR: BOB "STP" NEBERT VOL # VIII 9/12/85 PRICE: WHATEVER YA PAY ****************************************************************************** ANYBODY CAN PUT OUT A PAPER... IT TAKES GUTS TO PRINT THIS CRUD ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ##(Editors note: yes yes yes I spell gazette with two [2] z's. It's my paper!) .....URINAL TEST FLUNKED ...story of the week A contractor is claiming reimbursement for two of his urinals broken by Dade County, Fla., school officials when they jumped up and down on them. The jumpers, an architect, an engineer and a school board employee, shattered the two $728 child size urinals when they pounced on them to test they're weight capacity. "We've been jumping on water closets and urinals for 15 years," said Pete Spillis, the architect for the school board. "My plumber told them the urinals would break; a urinal is not meant to take that abuse." retorted contracter Gerald Nolan. It seems the normal test is to load them with sandbags. .....GATOR AID ...Noel Osmemt Not just anyone qualifies as an adoptive parent of alligators in the eyes of Peninsula Humane Society of Fairfax, California. It seems the society acquired an abandoned three foot model and the local aquariums were full so a call went out for help. 50 people responded (why) and they chose Victoria and Richard Bicardo because of their "passion and commitment" to alligators. The orphan joins two other gators residing in the couple's 10 foot wading pool near their bedroom. "When the lights are off at night we can hear them thrashing around," said Victoria. The Bicardos are constructing a new extensive outdoor moat and a 8 x 3 foot indoor aquarium. .....MONEY MATTERS Since the word went out last month from Texas officials that the estate of oil man James Meadows, unclaimed since his death in 1938, is now worth several billion dollars, pretenders to the estate have been besieging county courthouses in West Virginia. Meadows was committed to a mental hospital in the '30's and the money is still growing. He owned one-eight of the Spindletop oil field in Texas. .....CARSON'S DIVORCE Final decree, Johnny keeps: The Trump Tower apartment in New York, a beach house in Malibu, several homes in California, one in Las Vegas, two Mercedes, 25 Krugerrands and all stock and rights in Carson Prod. And his ex-wife gets: $35,000 a month for 64 months (yes read it again) -- $420,000 a year OR $2.24 million total -- unless she remarries or dies. She also gets The Bel-Air estate, three New York City apartments, a original Picasso, 75 Krugerrands, 1976 Mercedes, 1976 Rolls-Royce, a 1981 Datsun, 310 shares of Carson Broadcasting Corp. and finally one half of "Tonight Show" residuals paid between Sept '72 and Nov '82. .....THEFTS IN FLORIDA Al Shears has a hole in the ground where his six-foot, $400 ming tree once was. "I found it very strange," said Shears. "Let's face it, this is big bucks," said a North Miami Officer. This is not the first incident either. A $10,000 reward is offered for information leading to arrest and conviction. .....DRUNK DRIVING CHARGE Charles Reed Davis, 26, pleaded guilty to a drunken driving charge. He was fined $100, plus $45 in court costs and jail fees, and sentenced to 24 hours in the county jail. Big deal you said. Three days before he was hired as a assistant attorney general to prosecute drunk driving cases. Brought to you by Super Global Mega Corp .com