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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!lll-crg!well!ptsfa!dual!proper!judith
From: judith@proper.UUCP (Judith Abrahms)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: The Genius of Howard Chace
Message-ID: <312@proper.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 21-Sep-85 04:46:22 EDT
Article-I.D.: proper.312
Posted: Sat Sep 21 04:46:22 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 25-Sep-85 07:40:52 EDT
Reply-To: judith@proper.UUCP (judith)
Distribution: net
Organization: Proper UNIX, Oakland CA
Lines: 64

OK, Chace fans, I will now tell a whole story from Anguish Languish.

(For non-Chace-fans, a short Anguish/English translation, also from Chace,
to get you started:

ANGUISH:  Heresy ladle furry tell toiling udder warts -- warts welcher altar
girdle deferent firmer once inner regional virgin.

ENGLISH:  Here is a little fairy tale told in other words -- words which are
altogether different from the ones in the original version.)

			  LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT

   Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle
cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock florist.  Disk ladle gull orphan worry
putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder 
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
   Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset:
   "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker
cockles.  Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts
honor udder site offer florist.  Shaker lake!  Dun stopper laundry wrote!  Dun
stopper peck floors!  Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-
stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"
   "Hoe-cake, Murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle
basking an stuttered oft.
   Honor wrote tudor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten
anomalous woof.
   "Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof.  "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut!
Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"
   "Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull.  "Grammar's
seeking bet.  Armor ticking arson burder barter an shirker cockles."
   "O hoe!  Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf,
"Oil tickle shirt court end ketchup wetter letter, an den -- O bore!"
   Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer
groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debt pore oil worming worse lion
inner bet.  Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor
pore oil worming, an garbled erupt.  Den disk ratchet ammonol put honor groin-
murder's nut cup an gnat gun, any curdled dope inner bet.
   Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough
ball.  "Comb ink, sweat hard!" setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.
   Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.
   "O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically.  "Water bag icer gut!  A
nervous sausage bag ice!"
   "Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter
wicket small honors phase.
   "O, Grammar, water bag noise!  A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"
   "Buttered small your whiff, doling" whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse
waddling.
   "O Grammar, water bag mouser gut!  A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"
   Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts.  Oil offer sodden, caking
offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk heart-hoarded woof lipped own pore
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

   MURAL:  Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet
strainers.

(c) 1956 by Howard L. Chace.

Judith Abrahms
{ucbvax,ihnp4}!dual!proper!judith
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In capitalist society, man exploits man.  In the Soviet system, it's just the
other way around.
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