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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!fluke!suz
From: suz@fluke.UUCP (Suzanne Jurgensen)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: semiconductor definitions
Message-ID: <1172@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 19-Sep-85 11:34:40 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1172
Posted: Thu Sep 19 11:34:40 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 25-Sep-85 06:35:02 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Lines: 76



		SEMICONDUCTOR DEFINITIONS AND TERMINOLOGY

HOLES .................... the presence of nothing

HOLE DENSITY ............. a concentrated amount of nothing in 1 small place

ELECTRON ................. the absence of holes

PLANCK'S CONSTANT ........ two board feet

JUNCTION ................. fork in the road

P-N JUNCTION ............. roadside rest area

SEMI-CONDUCTOR ........... truck driver

DEGENERATE SEMICONDUCTOR . truck driver who likes his tea

DOPE ..................... someone you know

HEAVILY DOPED ............ someone you wish you didn't know

STORE CHARGE ............. wine cellar

SILICON .................. a gay prisoner

GERMANIUM ................ would have been a flower but someone misspelled it

TRANSPORT FACTOR ......... cousin of Max Factor

MAJORITY CARRIER ......... Republican carrying signs at a Republican convention

MINORITY CARRIER ......... Democrat carrying signs at a Republican convention

BASE ..................... low man in a quartet

COMMON BASE .............. local pub

COLLECTOR ................ one who collects

COMMON COLLECTOR ......... one who collects from everybody

COLLECTOR CAPACITY ....... maximum # of people a common collector can handle

COLLECTOR BREAKDOWN ...... result of being a common collector

VOLTAGE DROP ............. a candy, like a gum drop

CURRENT DENSITY .......... present stupidity

CURRENT GAIN ............. most recent rise in one's stock

POWER GAIN ............... fullback up the middle

ATOM ..................... part of an American colloquial expression,
			   "up & atom"

DELAY TIME ............... time it takes to start working after one has
			   arrived on the premises

RISE TIME ................ time one takes to get up in the morning after the
			   alarm has gone off

FALL TIME ................ September to November

SWITCHING TRANSISTORS .... act of changing one transistor for another

DCTL ..................... Don't Complain if the Transistor's Lousy

IcZERO ................... mistake, it should read "I see Zorro"

MINIATURE ................ small

MICRO .................... damn small


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