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From: suz@fluke.UUCP (Suzanne Jurgensen)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: qualifying examination
Message-ID: <1175@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 19-Sep-85 20:14:17 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1175
Posted: Thu Sep 19 20:14:17 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 25-Sep-85 08:17:33 EDT
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			QUALIFYING EXAMINATION

Instructions: Read each question carefully.  
	      Answer all questions.
	      Time limit - 4 hours.  
	      Begin immediately

  HISTORY - Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political,
economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and
Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
  MEDICINE - You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your work has
been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.
  PUBLIC SPEAKING - 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.
Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
  BIOLOGY - Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture
if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special
attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.  Prove
your thesis.
  MUSIC - Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute and
drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.
  PSYCHOLOGY - Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the
following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi.
Support you evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making
appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.
  SOCIOLOGY - Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end
of the world.  Construct an experiment to test you theory.
  PHILOSOPHY - Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its
significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
  MANAGEMENT SCIENCE -  Define Management.  Define Science.  How do they relate?
Why?  Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions.
Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your
algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control
programs.
  ENGINEERING - The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box on your desk.  You will also find an instruction manual, printed in
Swahili.  In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.
Take whatever action you fill appropriate. Be prepared to justify you
decision.
  ECONOMICS - Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace
the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist
controversy, the wave theory of light.  Outline a method for preventing these
effects.  Criticize this method from all possible points of view..  Point out
the deficiences in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the
last question.
  POLITICAL SCIENCE - There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start
World War III.  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
  EPISTEMOLOGY - Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of
your position.
  PHYSICS - Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an evaluation
of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
  GENERAL KNOWLEDGE - Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.


  EXTRA CREDIT - Define the Universe; give 3 examples.


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