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From: jayj@hpisla.UUCP (Jay Johannes)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Shaggy dogs in the old west
Message-ID: <84600002@hpisli.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 23-Sep-85 17:36:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: hpisli.84600002
Posted: Mon Sep 23 17:36:00 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 26-Sep-85 07:37:32 EDT
Organization: HP Instrument Systems Lab - Loveland, CO
Lines: 65


  I think this is an original. Hope you enjoy.


      Back in the days of the old west, somewhere in Kansas, there lived a
   rancher named Fred Holt.
     
      One day Fred found himself in need of supplies so he headed off to town
   to restock. After picking up all he needed, Fred decided to stop off at
   the local saloon for a warm one (no refrigerators in the old west).
     
      As he was standing there quietly drinking his beer, who should
   approach but his neighbor Sam Leed. Now Sam was in a vile mood concerning
   a certain fence that Fred had recently erected. Sam felt that open range
   should remain open and told Fred this in no uncertain terms. A violent
   argument ensued, ending only when the two parties were pulled off of each
   other and escorted out of town.
     
      Fred went on home and settled in for the night, but about midnight was
   suddenly awakened by a commotion. He looked out and discovered that his
   house was on fire. Quickly he gathered his family and managed to get them
   all to safety. The house was a total loss, however. Fred hitched up his
   wagon and headed off to town. When he told the people what had happened,
   they were outraged. There was law coming into Kansas and this wasn't
   tolerable. A possee was immediately formed and Sam was arrested.
     
      Now it just so happened that that great detective Charlie Chan
   happened to be passing through town on his way to California. It seemed
   that something was funny about this case, so he decided to stay awhile
   and investigate. He headed out to Fred's ranch and proceeded to look for
   clues. Right away, it was apparent that the fire had been set. An empty
   kerosene can and a suspicious odor said that this was no accident. Poking
   around a bit, Mr Chan found buried in the dirt an old, somewhat
   decomposing breechcloth, possibly discarded by one of the conscript labor
   party that had built the railroad. Most interesting, since the railroad
   tracks were ten miles distant. He was onto something, but needed another
   clue to tie it up. He found it in the form of a handbill, crumpled and
   discarded in the corner of the barn. 
     
      Unfolding it he read "Have you seen this coin? This 1832 half dollar is
   worth over $1000. We will pay you hard cash for this coin and others like
   it. Write for free list. J. Abernathy, coin broker, Boston".
     
      Now he had all he needed to free Sam. He headed back toward town. When
   he arrived, he noticed that no one was around. The town was deserted, and
   worse still, the jail was empty, its door smashed. Realizing that trouble
   was brewing, Charlie started running. As he neared Hanging Rock, he could
   hear the angry roar of mob justice.
     
      He entered the clearing and fought his way through the crowd while
   yelling "Stop. You are making a big mistake. You are about to hang the
   wrong man. The real culprit is The Lone Ranger."
     
      The crowd stopped and gasped. Sam, a rope already placed around his
   neck, looked visibly relieved. The mob leader looked down and asked "The
   Lone Ranger? How could that possibly be?"
     
      Charlie paused, smiled, and replied "It has to be. All the clues point
   to it...
         
         A fiery 'stead with the spite of Leed
         A clout of dust
         And a hearty 'Buy old Silver'
         
      Who else could it have been?" 


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