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From: suz@fluke.UUCP (Suzanne Jurgensen)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: The Deerhunt
Message-ID: <1179@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 23-Sep-85 15:38:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1179
Posted: Mon Sep 23 15:38:06 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 28-Sep-85 06:12:51 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Lines: 57



Since it is that time of the year again, here is the deerhunt for those
of you who have not seen it.

				THE DEER HUNT


 1:00 am ..... Alarm clock rings.
 2:00 am ..... Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.
 2:30 am ..... Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pickup.
 3:00 am ..... Leave for the deep woods.
 3:15 am ..... Drive back home to pick up gun.
 3:30 am ..... Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.
 4:00 am ..... Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent.
 4:30 am ..... Head for the woods.
 6:05 am ..... See eight deer.
 6:06 am ..... Take aim and squeeze trigger.
 6:07 am ..... CLICK.
 6:08 am ..... Load gun while watching deer go over the hill.
 8:00 am ..... Head back to camp.
 9:00 am ..... Still looking for camp.
10:00 am ..... Realize you don't know where camp is.
 NOON    ..... Fire gun for help; eat wild berries.
12:15 pm ..... Run out of bullets; eight deer come back.
12:20 pm ..... Strange feeling in stomach; throw up.
12:30 pm ..... Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 pm ..... Rescued
12:55 pm ..... Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
 3:00 pm ..... Arrive back at camp.
 3:30 pm ..... Leave camp to kill deer.
 4:00 pm ..... Return to camp for bullets.
 4:01 pm ..... Load gun; leave camp again.
 5:00 pm ..... Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you.
 6:00 pm ..... Arrive at camp; see dear grazing in camp.
 6:01 pm ..... Load gun.
 6:02 pm ..... Fire gun.
 6:03 pm ..... One dead pickup.
 6:05 pm ..... Hunting partner arrives at camp dragging deer.
 6:06 pm ..... Repress desire to shoot hunting partner.
 6:07 pm ..... Fall into fire.
 6:10 pm ..... Change clothes; throw burned ones into fire.
 6:15 pm ..... Take pickup; leave hunting partner with his deer in camp.
 6:25 pm ..... Pickup boils over; hole shot in block.
 6:26 pm ..... Start walking.
 6:30 pm ..... Stumble and fall; drop gun in the mud.
 6:35 pm ..... Meet bear.
 6:36 pm ..... Take aim.
 6:37 pm ..... Fire gun; barrels blows up; plugged with mud.
 6:38 pm ..... Mess pants.
 6:39 pm ..... Climb tree.
 7:00 pm ..... Bear leaves; wrap damn gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT ..... HOME AT LAST!

Sunday   ..... Watch football game on tv, slowly tearing up hunting license
	       into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to the Game
	       Department with detailed instructions.


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