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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!fluke!suz
From: suz@fluke.UUCP (Suzanne Jurgensen)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT... (first installment)
Message-ID: <1183@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 25-Sep-85 19:16:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1183
Posted: Wed Sep 25 19:16:26 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 1-Oct-85 08:48:17 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Lines: 56



HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE:

boy who found a 50 cent piece in an alley and ran home to get the money.

old maid that got on a drunk and nearly killed him.

careless canary that did it for a lark.

truck driver who broke his arm when he pulled out to avoid a child and
   fell off the sofa.

sleepy bird who couldn't stay awake for a second.

over anxious bride who came down the isle.

all-American tom cat that made 4 yards in one night.

traffic statistics which show that 90 per cent of all persons were caused 
   by accidents.

girl who wanted to be a bubble dancer but her father said no soap.

man who stole his neighbor's wife piece by piece.

foreign virgin that didn't come across.

high salary movie producer that was always trying to have a little extra.

girl who decided to get a mink fur the same way the minks do.

milkman who was late on the third floor because he got a little behind on
   the second.

girl who went to her boyfriend's flat for midnight snack and all she got
   was a tit bit.

man about town who rented an apartment just big enough to lay his head
   and a few intimate friends.

modern Cinderella who turns into a motel every night.

cow who got a divorce because she got a bum steer.

absent minded nurse who made the patient without disturbing the bed.

peculiar contractor who had his house maid upside down.

fellow that bought his girl a bicycle and she now peddles it all over town.

woman who lived in Florida all her life and never had a palm in the place.

chickens that ate racing forms and they are laying odds.

fellow that lost his girlfriend; he forgot where he laid her.


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