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From: carnes@gargoyle.UUCP (Richard Carnes)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: How do I get my 6 yr old to practice piano
Message-ID: <190@gargoyle.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Sep-85 15:24:25 EDT
Article-I.D.: gargoyle.190
Posted: Mon Sep 16 15:24:25 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 17-Sep-85 05:58:10 EDT
References: <2578@pegasus.UUCP>
Reply-To: carnes@gargoyle.UUCP (Richard Carnes)
Organization: U. of Chicago, Computer Science Dept.
Lines: 48

>I started piano lessons when I was eight, and I didn't much care
>to practice some days, either.  My parents attitute was, "hey, this
>is not free;  if we are going to shell out the bucks, then you'd
>better practice; if you don't practice, you don't want to learn
>to play badly enough, and we quit paying."  They relied on progress
>reports from the teacher.  Once I realized they were for real, I
>practiced more diligently, but after a couple of years, I was tired
>of it and told them so.  I took up the piano again a couple of years
>later under the same system, with a good deal more motivation
>because of their philosophy and how it had previously worked.

Telling a child "no practice, no lessons" may be useful with some
children, adolescents in particular, but in many cases I think the
result would be that the child loses interest in the lessons.  The
child must learn that learning to play a musical instrument, like any
worthwhile accomplishment, requires a certain amount of work on a
regular basis, and parents can help to make that work more rewarding
and worthwhile for the child.  For example, you can help with
scheduling practice times, encouraging your child when he/she gets
discouraged, being nearby when the child practices, sharing your love
of music, etc.  But what do you think would happen if you told a kid
who didn't like to do homework, "You must do your homework or you
will have to quit school"?  A better way is to try to understand his
reluctance and see if you can help him find an inner motivation to
study.  On the other hand, if the child really is not interested at
all in music lessons, then the lessons should be stopped.

A problem that boys sometimes have is that their peers regard playing
an instrument as a "sissy" activity, unless it is a "male" instrument
like the trombone.  This may not be as much of a problem as formerly,
but I'm sure there are some fathers out there who are afraid their
boy will turn into a faggot if he plays violin instead of football.
I was the first male flutist that my high school band had ever had,
and some of the guys regarded me as something of a freak and probably
questioned my sexual orientation (in spite of the fact that nearly
all top professional flutists have been male).  This is another area
where you can help your child, if he is afraid of being labeled a
sissy (or if your girl wants to play the trumpet), just as you would
help a child who was afraid of being labeled a nerd if he studied
hard and got good grades.

When a young child is taking music lessons, the parents are as
important as the teacher.  When I taught piano to kids about 6 years
old, I ran into some parents whose attitude was, "It's your problem,
you're the teacher; we're paying you to teach them to play piano."
Their kids never learned anything.

Richard Carnes


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