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From: bobn@bmcg.UUCP (Bob Nebert)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Sending kids to bed --help needed-- followup
Message-ID: <1908@bmcg.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 27-Sep-85 12:09:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: bmcg.1908
Posted: Fri Sep 27 12:09:04 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 4-Oct-85 05:15:38 EDT
References: <10@drutx.UUCP>
Organization: Burroughs Corp. ASG, San Diego, CA.
Lines: 45

> >In his eyes he is being punished I would think.
> 
> Don't be so sure.  That's how an adult might view it.  But children
> don't always make that leap.  They have a great ability to accept
> things as givens--at least until they get a bit older.
> 
  I have been, for the last few days, not changing my pattern of 
  parenting but making mental notes as to what I say and I notice
  that whenever he or she are not behaving as I want them to I say
  " You want to go to your room and think about it". Maybe In their
  eyes their bedroom is a punishment room? I don't know. I'm going
  to try a different approach (don't know what yet) and let you
  know what happends.
>
> >The sister, age 4.5, sleeps on the couch. She has always slept
> >on the couch. For some reason she has a fear of her bedroom.
> >If anybody has any advice on how to make her feel at home in
> >her room I would listen with all three ears.
> 
> You don't mention--is this a private bedroom, or does she share it
> with the other children?  If it is a private bedroom, perhaps it
> shouldn't be.  Maybe have her brother and her share a bedroom for
> a year or so.  Maybe she doesn't want to be alone.  Try to find out 
> what that "some reason" is.  Perhaps it is correctable.
> 
  I found out that our neighbor, who has three girls < 7 years, has them
  all sleeping in one bedroom and one bedroom has become the play room.
  They can mess it up all they want as long as their bedroom stays
  clean. So I guess Jennifer wants a playroom too. (equality among peers
  is strong in little kidlets).
  I'm going to move her into Daniel's room (he has two beds in there 
  anyway) and use her room as a play room. ?I don't know? It might
  work and dosen't cost a dime so I'm give it a try.
>
> young.  My mother used to say, when we questioned the rules: "It's my
> house and I'm bigger than you are."  A lot of people on the net shudder
> and throw up their hands at this--but I think it did me good.  I think
> that children need that--that it is a part of being human to go through
> a period of having limits put on us.  We then go through much the same
>
  I agree. Children need to know that there are limits and NEED to know
  when they reach them. They will push until they find them. 
>
   Bob Nebert
   sdcsvax!bmcg!bobn


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