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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!ihnp4!ucbvax!ucdavis!up547413042
From: up547413042@ucdavis.UUCP (up547413042)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: coming out at work, and misc.
Message-ID: <70@ucdavis.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 14-Sep-85 22:10:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucdavis.70
Posted: Sat Sep 14 22:10:20 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Sep-85 12:26:01 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: University of California, Davis
Lines: 59


	This is my first time posting, so I hope this works out okay. Initially,
I had only one reason to post, but now that I've gone through all the news, I'd
like to comment on a few things mentioned before in this group. First, the
original question.
	I was wondering how many people who read the netnews and this group
are actually out at work. I'm in a very weird situation myself. One person
(the technical writer) knows I'm gay. She's cool, and I knew she would be so I
told her. My boss (the director of the department) is a friend from college
and Dungeons and Dragons games during college. He does not know I'm gay, nor
does anybody else there. I've heard some not very nice things said by some of
the people there about gay people (lately by people in the sales force) and
by my boss. They don't talk about it much, but when they do, it's certainly
not favourably. The company, being quite small ( about 30) in kind of family
like. It's also pretty young. Most are married, and most have babies. My
lover is named Bobby, and I pass him off as a girlfriend since they don't see
him ever. Unfortunately, they are getting to want to meet Bobby. What a jam.
They're in for quite a shock, and I'm a little nervous about it. I see a lot
about coming out and if I get fired, what-the-hell on the net, but we can't
afford that.  I make the main money, and we've not much in savings.
	Now while I'm sure I'll get out of this one way or another (I believe
the county has a non- discrimination ordinance), it can be tough to work with
people who hate you or are afraid of you. I am wondering what the case is for
everybody out there. (AT&T sounds really cool).
	Sorry that was so long winded.
	I'd like to make a quick mention about a few things I've seen on the
net. I don't get to see it very often since I have to come to the university
to read it (we don't have it up a work yet, and when we do, we probably won't
be getting this group, unfortunately). 
	First, about pornography. Regardless of of whether it is sexist or not,
censorship of pornography is a threat to the 1st Amendment and can eventually
lead to the encoachment upon the free speech rights of, among others, gay
people. I don't believe pornography is the *cause* of any problems anyway; I
think it is more likely to be a symptom. If somebody wants to see a woman
dominated by a man in a pornographic way, he buys it. I think the reason
pornography exits is because there is a demand for it. Society seems to be
so screwed up sexually anyway, it's no surprise. I also think pornography acts, 
for some, as a placebo for love. I certainly don't think it's a simple subject.
It is possible that pornography re- enforces (sp.) behaviour, though.
	I have a legal suggestion for other couples: I have co -benefactors
to my life insurance (Bobby and my brother), and I'm going to name my uncle
as executor of my estate because I know for sure that he wan't try to cheat
my lover or my family. And since he is part of my family, I think it may be
safer than a non- member of the family if my dad or brother or someone
challenges this appointment in court. But it sure is important to cover your-
self. A friend of mine's lover died a while back, and is family tried to take
*everything*. Fortunately, his lover left a will, and it was respected.
	Finally, I am curious as to what people in this group feel about
religion, Christian or not. I meet a lot of gay people who are sour on it, but
I'm Catholic myself, and have a very loving parish and a great bishop and
a nice Dignity (gay Catholics) group. How do people feel about their faiths, if
they have (or had) one? What is the response of their clery and community?
Should this question be here, in the religion group, or both?
	Although I'm writing from the UCDavis node, please write me at my work.
They don't read my mail (at least, I don't think they do... I'd be sunk by now
they did), so it is safe. My address is:
	ucbvax!ucdavis!disc!chris
	
			Chris Young.


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