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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!pesnta!hplabs!kolovson
From: kolovson@hplabs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: living alone - the other side of the
Message-ID: <11000018@hplabs.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 14-Sep-85 18:09:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: hplabs.11000018
Posted: Sat Sep 14 18:09:00 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 21-Sep-85 03:41:10 EDT
References: <1903@reed.UUCP>
Lines: 62
Nf-ID: #R:reed:-190300:hplabs:11000018:000:3244
Nf-From: hplabs!kolovson    Sep 18 14:09:00 1985

>...
>	It seems to me that there are good and bad things to living alone.
>There are good and bad things to living with someone, whether it be
>roommate, SO or spouse. And people are all different. They have
>different needs. For some, the positives of living alone outweigh the
>negatives, and for others the opposite is true. And I'm afraid that I,
>at least, if not others on the net in "group one", have been rather
>unbalanced in my postings. So I now present, for your consideration, the
>other side of the coin to living alone, or at least, the other side of
>my coin of living alone.
>
>	There is no one whom you can share your joy with immediately when 
>something exciting happens.
>	There is often no shoulder to cry on.
>	There is no one to bitch to about your tough day at the office.
>	There is no one to surprise with a special meal that took you five
>hours to cook, not to mention the fact that you screwed up on the eggs
>in the chocolate mousse and had to do it over again, but that was ok
>because you knew how happy they'd be when they saw it.
>	There's no one who will wake you up in the middle of the night
>because they had a nightmare and are afraid to go back to sleep.
>	There's no one with whom you don't always have to be doing
>something. No one whom you can just be with, without any pressure to do
>anything, even gaze into each other's eyes.
>	There is often no one to talk to when you need to most, because
>there is often a busy signal.
>	There is no one to share the comics with in the morning.
>	There is no one who will see you crawl to the bathroom in the
>morning, hear you swear a blue streak at the corner of the coffee table,
>listen to you rant and rave about your incompetant boss, be kept awake
>half the night by your snoring, have to pay $780.00 in plumbing bills
>because you tried to fix a leaky faucet in the bathroom ("Really - I can
>do it! - What do you think you married, a schmuck?"), and who will still
>look at you everyday and say "I love you".
>...
>
>	elizabeth g. purtell
>
>	(Lady Godiva)

************************************

This is a thought-provoking "other side of the coin," as you seem to be 
giving both pros and cons in this message.  I enjoy your thoughts on this 
topic (as I have enjoyed your comments on previous topics), and I would like 
to add that although relationships sometimes involve "work" it is usually
worth it, and although it may not always be a bed of roses, it is better
than being alone.  Of course, there are personal differences as you said
above, and everyone needs their own "space" -- some more than others --
but hopefully a relationship has more benefits than problems, and the
benefits are sometimes quite wonderful and unexpected.

It is true that some people actually prefer living alone, and to them
allowing people to enter their lives may take a variety of forms.  In
extreme cases, some people may avoid contact with people,
but that is rare.  Some people enjoy living alone and brooding about
themselves, although the fact that they actually enjoy it may not be
apparent to them.  Some like living alone so they can have more of their
own space when they feel like it.  There are certainly times when we all
need that.

	Curt Kolovson


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