Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site reed.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!reed!purtell
From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Rough times (Re: net.personalities)
Message-ID: <1920@reed.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 19-Sep-85 18:02:01 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1920
Posted: Thu Sep 19 18:02:01 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 21-Sep-85 11:52:23 EDT
References: <3258@pur-ee.UUCP> <30619@lanl.ARPA> <1749@hao.UUCP> <138@denelvx.UUCP>
Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 49
Summary: 

In article <138@denelvx.UUCP> gmack@denelvx.UUCP (Gregg Mackenzie) writes:
>
>Greg, your comments about falling out of love brought something to mind.  In
>several of my past love affairs, I've found that, every now and then, I go
>through a period of time where I absolutely cannot stand to be around the
>person that I'm supposed to be madly in love with.  
>
>It's
>a sort of "falling out of love" feeling, but down inside I know I'm still in
>love with her.  Eventually, the feeling passes and everything returns to
>normal.
>
>Does anyone have any idea what the hell I'm talking about?
>

	YES!!! My experiences have been slightly different, but it's
basically the same thing. It has nothing whatsoever to do with
anything that my lover has done, but it's usually just a period where I
want to be alone (not just to be away from my lover but from everyone).
It is sort of a feeling of falling out of love, but I also know that I'm
still in love with the person. And, if I'm allowed to be alone for a
period of time (usually between a couple of days and a couple of weeks)
then everything returns to normal. If, however, the person refuses to
understand and starts taking it personally, no matter how much I try to
explain, then it really screws things up because they either get mad and
break up with me, or they won't leave me alone and that causes bad
feelings in me towards them. 
	I think that this relates very well to the discussion about what
love really is. Sometimes you just don't feel in love with the person
whom you are in love with. I've had men who got angry at me because I
didn't always ride an emotional high about being with them or being in
love with them. I just couldn't get them to understand that being in
love doesn't mean that you always have to stare dreamily into each
other's eyes over candlelight, or always be excited everytime the
person wants to go out and do something. That has it's place, but I just 
don't have the emotional energy to give every part of myself to someone all 
of the time. And just because I stop "feeling" romantic and in love for a
couple of weeks doesn't mean that I have stopped loving the person, nor
does it mean that I won't feel romantic again in the near future.  It
just means that I'm tired, under a lot of stress, or emotionally
drained. 
	It was nice to see that someone else feels this way sometimes and
understands. I certainly haven't dated many people that did. 

	cheers -

	elizabeth g. purtell

	(Lady Godiva)


Brought to you by Super Global Mega Corp .com