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From: oyster@uwmacc.UUCP (Vicious Oyster)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: LDRs To Move or Not to Move
Message-ID: <1494@uwmacc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 26-Sep-85 13:58:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: uwmacc.1494
Posted: Thu Sep 26 13:58:59 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 30-Sep-85 01:56:53 EDT
References: <8@drutx.UUCP>
Reply-To: oyster@uwmacc.UUCP (Vicious Oyster)
Distribution: na
Organization: UWisconsin-Madison Academic Comp Center
Lines: 43

In article <8@drutx.UUCP> lrm@drutx.UUCP (MerlettoL) writes:
>>My experience is that ldr's come and go, a good satisfying job is
>>something to cherish.  Let your ldr come to you this time.
>
>I disagree!  Compare the "strokes" you get from your job to the ones
>from an SO.  In my opinion, there is no comparison.
>
>I have many more good career oportunities than I have good men, and the
>few good men I have had are much more pleasurable than the BEST
>employer.
>
>If you really think he's worth it (make sure you aren't deceiving
>yourself about any aspect of the relationship), then go for it.
>
>Sleeping with a warm wonderful man sure beats sleeping with your
>paycheck!!
>
   Sounds good in theory, but here in the real world (:-) there are many
more factors that enter into it.  It has been intimated that this will be
a "first job" situation.  Can one afford to risk having a track record
consisting of "I took that job because I following some guy I wasn't sure
about, and now, 6 months later, I'm looking for another job?"  If *I* were
a personnel director, I would doubt the stability of the applicant.
Would she/he leave *my* company in 6 months to follow some emotional
whim?  Granted, if you're so wonderful at what you do that you have "many
good career opportunities," you might not have to worry about that.  Most
of us do, though.
   Other factors are financial responsibility and overall happiness in the
place that you're going.  Would you live there and/or work for that company
at that salary if you *weren't* following somebody?  How happy would/could
you be if you split up?   Sure, money isn't as important as love to most
people, but to find yourself with neither seems like it would guarantee
unhappiness (sorta like being a student, eh?).
   I personally feel that establishing a career (or an education for that
matter; my younger sister is thinking about choosing her college based
upon nearness to a high-school sweetheart! Gak!) is more important than
establishing a relationship.  However, once one has had a chance to 
establish that career, thereby helping to provide for oneself regardless
of emotional entanglement, the risk involved in matters such as these
is much more acceptable.

   Then again, what opinion would you expect from somebody with both an
established career *and* an established relationship? (;-)


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