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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!harvard!ut-sally!pooh
From: pooh@ut-sally.UUCP (Pooh @ Communist Martyrs High)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Long Distance Relationships
Message-ID: <3044@ut-sally.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 14:10:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: ut-sally.3044
Posted: Sun Sep 29 14:10:06 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 2-Oct-85 08:28:00 EDT
References: <284@cylixd.UUCP> <2901@ut-sally.UUCP> <2258CHF@psuvm> <291@whuts.UUCP>
Reply-To: pooh@sally.UUCP (Pooh @ Communist Martyrs High)
Organization: U. Texas CS Dept., Austin, Texas
Lines: 53
Summary: 

In article <291@whuts.UUCP> amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:
>Well, this is just an opinion (picture me dissolving in gales of
>laughter as I type that), but unless you have been discussing
>marriage, I would advise against it. It sounds like you are just
>leaving school. Go out and discover what life is like *by yourself*,
>for a year or two, before hooking up with someone else.

Well, I wouldn't go this far.  I would say:  try very hard to
discover what life is like *wherever* you are.  If you can do
it while moving to be with your SO, so much the better.

>Why do I mention marriage? That old nemesis, commitment. You are
>going to move all that way, and take a big risk with your career
>without a commitment? 

Why not?  Especially if you haven't known each other long
enough, it may not be appropriate to demand a commitment
as a condition to being together.

What is a career that it has to pre-empt love and life?

Life is for taking risks--with anything.  Life also has
a way of working itself out; one move either way will
rarely spell disaster for the next 50 years.  People are
more resilient than they often think--even if you get
hurt, you WILL be able to pick yourself up and go on.

(I know.)

>If you really do want to be near him, do not
>move in with him. Get your own place in town, so that if things
>break up you don't find yourself on the street with no place to
>live. As an aside, if things do go bad, if you have your own place,
>it will make the break-up process much easier.

This I do agree with.  Create your own life wherever
you are; don't transplant yourself onto someone else.
That way you will have valuable experiences that will make
the move worthwhile, no matter how your relationship works out.

>Best of luck....

Yes!  And have fun!

Pooh

topaz!unipress!pooh       unipress!pooh@topaz.ARPA

Do what you can while you can do what you want to do;
Don't do what you don't want to don't do well--
Make the best of all you've got, 'fore what you could
  becomes a couldn't--
It's a great big beautiful wonderful world. . .  (Peter Sills)


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