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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!mb2c!umich!torek
From: torek@umich.UUCP (Paul V. Torek )
Newsgroups: net.suicide
Subject: Re: misc. ramblings
Message-ID: <230@umich.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 17-Sep-85 01:53:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: umich.230
Posted: Tue Sep 17 01:53:03 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 18-Sep-85 03:54:04 EDT
References: <199@ikonas.UUCP>
Reply-To: torek@eecs.UUCP (Paul V. Torek )
Organization: University of Michigan, EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Lines: 35
Summary: 

In article <199@ikonas.UUCP> mcm@ikonas.UUCP (Mike Mitchell) writes:
>.  Someone called me a nerd at work today,
>and I just realized it must be true.

The question you have to ask now is, "do I LIKE being (what people generally
describe as) a nerd?"  If yes, no problem; if there's something you're missing
by being a "nerd" then -- well -- change.  (Easier said than done, of course.)

>I've heard that someone who attempts suicide is really looking for attention.
>If that is true, why have I planned my own suicide in great detail, such that
>it would look like an accident or a murder?  I don't want my suicide to
>upset the few people that might care for me, whomever they are.

Maybe you want attention but want this incompatible thing more?  Wanting 
attention is not just normal for humans, it makes sense:  getting
attention can be enjoyable.  Realizing that was -- allow me to bring my
own experience of long ago into this; it's the only handle I have on the
situation -- one* of the things that enabled me to see other ways out of an
unbearable life-pattern.

* The other was this:  suicide is a pretty radical measure.  As long as one
is considering radical measures...  there are lots of drastic ways of 
changing one's life -- abandoning the life you've built and starting afresh;
quite possibly some of them would be an improvement.  This willingness to
consider radical changes is something that is still with me.

Hope I'm not being utterly irrelevant.

>I'm sorry this has gone on for so long.  I hoped maybe letting out some
>of my feelings would prevent me from wrapping my car around a tree.

Maybe *admitting* those feelings is even more important than letting them 
out?  (Maybe not; it was for me.)

Paul V Torek, member, Dr. Ruth Fan Club


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