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From: arnold@ucsfcgl.UUCP (Ken Arnold%CGL)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name-changing and "identity"
Message-ID: <643@ucsfcgl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 18-Sep-85 23:19:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucsfcgl.643
Posted: Wed Sep 18 23:19:20 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 20-Sep-85 06:58:31 EDT
References: <510@osiris.UUCP> <255@nrcvax.UUCP>
Reply-To: arnold@ucsfcgl.UUCP (Ken Arnold)
Distribution: net
Organization: UCSF Computer Graphics Lab
Lines: 31

In article <255@nrcvax.UUCP> terry@nrcvax.UUCP (Terry Grevstad) writes:
>jcp@osiris.UUCP (Jody Patilla) says:
>>	It is also historically true that a woman takes a man's name as a
>>sign of becoming his property - in effect, her virginity ceases to be the
>>property of her father and is given over to her husband.
>
>There is also the aspect that when a woman takes the man's name, or
>vice versa if you prefer, it means that the "family" as a whole has
>one name.  This tends to unite the family as a group, giving it a
>sense of unity, which hopefully will *keep* it a family.  When each
>individual in the family has a different name, there is an element of
>unity missing, which has a tendency to split up the family.

Prove this, please.  Or, to be more precise, please cite enough
references of reputable studies which show or imply this conclusion
that would at least lead a reasonable person to believe this even
*might* be true.  If you cannot, then you are only stating your own
world view, which is not butressed by any data.  You could please
distinguish.

I feel that a lifetime commitment is cemented by mutual respect.
Insisting that that one individual follow a tradition based in
inequality, if they don't want to, doesn't seem to show much respect
for that individual.  I kept my name when I married because I have
lived with it all my life, and it is, in a subtle but real sense, part
of my identity.  I respect my spouse's identity, and would never ask
her to modify it if she didn't want to.  This kind of respect for the
other's humanity, at least for me, makes me feel much more secure and
loving and, thefore, more *united*.  Not less.

		Ken Arnold


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