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From: jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: When are you a man/woman?
Message-ID: <662@rtech.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 27-Sep-85 04:30:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: rtech.662
Posted: Fri Sep 27 04:30:05 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 30-Sep-85 01:54:29 EDT
References: <305@decwrl.UUCP> <43800006@uiucuxc> <685@cornell.UUCP>
Organization: Relational Technology, Alameda CA
Lines: 45

> > 
> >   Another question:  When does one feel like he/she should be
> >   called man/woman?
> 
> Maybe other people don't have this impression, but it seems to me that
> in society's eyes you switch from being a "guy/girl" to a "man/woman"
> when you get married.  At least, I think that's the traditional usage.
> 
> Regards,
> Rance Cleaveland

This would be fine in a society where everyone got married when entering
adulthood.  Even in the "old days", there were people in our society who
didn't have marriage as a goal, and a lower percentage of people get married
now than, say, 50 years ago.  I have a hard time believing that one who
never married would never be considered an adult; would a 50 year old
unmarried person typically be called a "boy" or a "girl"?  I think, though,
that a young person is more likely to be considered an adult if married;
an 18 year old female is more likely to be called a "woman" if she is
married.

But this doesn't answer the original question, which asked when one feels
that he or she should be called a "man" or a "woman".  I think the
questioner was asking for personal responses.  It is true that society
influences one's beliefs, but this doesn't mean that one must consult
the Handbook of Approved Attitudes to figure out what one feels or should
feel.  I hope that Rance was not intentionally implying this.

I only call someone a "boy" or a "girl" if the person is young and immature
(in the strict sense of the word, not the common derogatory sense), I
don't think the person would be insulted by it, and the situation is
appropriate.  For example, I might call a 16 year old female a "girl" in
some circumstances, but if she were waiting on me in a restaurant I would
call her a "woman"; the customer/server relationship demands respect.

Personally, I don't remember any watershed date when suddenly I wanted to
be called a "man" instead of a "boy".  I'm not a member of any group that
has been treated as non-adult by large segments of society, so it never
became an issue for me.
-- 
Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.)
"Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent..."

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