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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!rochester!ray
From: ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name Changes ("traditions that have evolved" disappearing)
Message-ID: <11901@rochester.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 27-Sep-85 10:54:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: rocheste.11901
Posted: Fri Sep 27 10:54:26 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 1-Oct-85 11:09:53 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP>
Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept.
Lines: 39

> >Until you can show me undenialble proof that you and all of us know
> >where we are going, I will choose to remain in the past, after all, the
> >past worked and has spoken for itself (there wasn't a 50% divorce rate)
> >the present doesn't look too healthy, and the future is cloaked in the
> >vagueness of experimentation.
> 
> Well, let's be a little more real, here.  The average length of a
> marriage around 100 years ago was approximately the same as it is now.
> For a person to be married two or three times was considered normal.
> However, ends of marriages were usually by death, not divorce.  The
> institution of marriage evolved in a situation where "till death do us
> part" was not so long a thing.  Whether people can, in general,
> maintain a marriage over 50 to 75 years has yet to be seen, but the
> institution must and will, at least, change to adapt to longer lives.
> So perhaps the "unhealthy" divorce rate is quite normal and healthy for
> the population.
> 
> Oh, by the way, spare me your examples of 60+ year marriages.  My
> grandparents are still lovingly married after 67 years, and I, having
> just entered into marriage, intend to surpass them.  Please note that I
> am talking about people *in general*, i.e., the population on average.
> 
> 		Ken Arnold

The divorce rate of people married 7 years or less is statistically much
high now than at any time in the past.  What are you talking about when
you mention 50 or 75 year marriages?  God bless your grandparents, but
they have little to do with this discussion.  Staying married for 20,
30, 40 years, etc probably is a feat of great accomplishment, but is staying
married for greater than 7 years considered a great accomplishment?  The
divorce rate is higher now than in the past.  No qualification of this fact
is necessary.  The divorce rate is not higher as you imply because people
are living longer, this is absurd.  
Good luck in your marriage, you will need it.  I don't mean this to be
a negative or sarcastic remark, I really do wish you well, but don't take
the 50% divorce rate to trivially.  Thinking it could never happen to you
is perhaps idealistically, unrealistically optomistic.  Fifty percent means 
half the people are a victim of the 'enlightened need for change' era we 
are now living in.  


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