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From: ebm@ucbingres.ARPA (Eli Messinger)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Camero Commercials
Message-ID: <109@ucbingres.ARPA>
Date: Sun, 6-Oct-85 07:23:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucbingre.109
Posted: Sun Oct  6 07:23:10 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 7-Oct-85 06:02:58 EDT
Sender: usenet@ucbvax.ARPA
Reply-To: ebm%ucbingres@ucbvax.ARPA (Grady Toss)
Organization: Pandora's Box
Lines: 48

"You're busy?"  "You're busy"
"Got a letter from your mother today"
"Yeah, what'd she say?"
"Oh--not much, but it was nice... I got a new car."
...

This sickening couple goes on to arrange a rehash of their romance via a
date to Carmel in his new Bitchin' Camero.  We get a nauseating listen in
on their oh-so yuppie phone call.  I'd like to vomit in his brand spankin'
new glove compartment.

But WAIT!  Playing this 5000 times a day for 6 months wasn't enough!  They're
back for a reprise!  This time she's an "artist" who paints landscapes which
just-so-happen to always feature HER Bitchin' Camero.  He wants to pick up on
her and maybe get some free oils (if you know what I mean and I'm sure you do).
She finally gives in and agrees to paint a landscape with his car in it, AND
go out to dinner with the geek.

BUT WAIT!  (Yes, snake knives, a dual action peeler AND a garnish maker--down
and down, around and around)  There's another one!  This time she had a dream
that he bought a new Bitchin' Camero, which OH-SHIT!  He just did!  Where's
Rod Serling?  No doubt driving HIS OWN Bitchin' Camero.

Death to these intimate looks into couples lives.  Commercial radio is bad
enough, but commercials of this sort give the whole idea a pall that makes my
stomach grind.  If I wanted to hear this sort of shit I'd tap phone lines at
a stock brokerage.

While I'm at it... how come so goddamn many advertising agencies saw fit to
copy Pepsi's close-up-shots-of-barely-recognizable-pieces-of-humans commercials.
I thought they were okay at first... the guy just leaving the tropical resort
meeting the woman just arriving.  Ships in the night.  But now EVERYONE and
their MOTHER is using this technique.  If you're out there, oh mighty
controllers of our commercial airwaves:  CUT IT THE FUCK OUT AND THINK UP
AN IDEA ON YOUR OWN.  After all, that's what we pay you for.

And YEAH, I'm a bit steamed about all of the mid-60's pop songs that are
being raped for their melodies.  If I hear "Everyday People" used for a
People Slagazine ad one more time... I just might... might.. ergnkckkcklk.

Bring back the Ginzu, Ginzu II, Ginzu III, and Bamboo Steamer!!  You know,
in Japan they use their hand like a knife, but IT WON'T WORK WITH A TOMATO.

Thank GOD Ken Nordine still does some voice work.  It must be a careful
balance between stuffing his bank account and keeping from choking the
vermin who write the commercials.

... gt (just a bit hot under the collar today)