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From: ???@utai.UUCP (???)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Some Actual Insurance Claims
Message-ID: <810@utai.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 16-Oct-85 14:29:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: utai.810
Posted: Wed Oct 16 14:29:14 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 16-Oct-85 15:26:08 EDT
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     Here are some actual quotes from accident reports submitted to
various insurance companies by hapless policyholders, as collected by
the United Services Automobile Association:

 -  "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
    I don't have."

 -  "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
    intentions."

 -  "I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand
    through it."

 -  "The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before
    I hit him."

 -  "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
    and headed over the embankment."

 -  "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

 -  "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
    had the accident."

 -  "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

 -  "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished."

 -  "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
    road when I struck him."

 -  "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him."

 -  "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car
    with a big mouth."

 -  "I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a
    ditch by some stray cows."

 -  "The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of
    its way, when it struck my front end."