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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ucbvax!ucdavis!lll-crg!seismo!uwvax!astroatc!johnw
From: johnw@astroatc.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Very punny song
Message-ID: <204@astroatc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 17-Oct-85 04:35:35 EDT
Article-I.D.: astroatc.204
Posted: Thu Oct 17 04:35:35 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 20-Oct-85 07:17:21 EDT
References: <791@decwrl.UUCP>
Reply-To: johnw@astroatc.UUCP (John F. Wardale)
Organization: Astronautics ATC, Madison, WI
Lines: 128
Keywords: fish, Wet Dreams


>                         W E T    D R E A M S
>                         --------------------
> 
> 
> 
>     It was April the 41st,
>     being a quadruple leap year.
>     I was driving in down-town Atlantis.
>     My Baracuda was in the shop,
>     so I was in a rented stingray
>          -- and it was over-heating.
>     So, I pulled into a shell station.
>     They said I'd blown a seal.
>     I said "Fix the damned thing and leave my private life out
>          of it, okay pal?"
> 
>     While they were doing that
>     I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
>          -- A real dive.
>     But I knew the owner.
>     He used to play for the Dolphins.
>     I said "Hi Gil."
>     You have to yell, he's hard of herring.
> 
> 
>     [chorus]
>     Think I had a wet dream,   cruising thru the Gulf Stream
>     ooo  ooo oo ooooh
>     Wet Dream
> 
> 
>     Gil was also down on his luck.
>     Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
>     I bellied up to the sandbar.
>     He poured me the usual -- Rusty snail, hold the grunion,
>          shaken, not stirred.
>     With a peanut-butter and Jellyfish sandwich on the side
>          -- Heavy on the Mako.
>     I slipped him a fin -- On porpoise.
>     I was feeling good.
>     I even dropped a sand-dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
>          -- for the Halibut.
> 
> 
>     Well, the place was crowded.
>     We were packed in like sardines.
>     They were all there to listen to the Big Band sound of Tommy Dorsal
>          -- What Sole.
>     Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna
>          -- Salmon Enchanted Evening.
>     And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers,
>     Probably there to see the Bass player.
> 
>     One of them was this cute little Yellow-tail,
>     And she's giving me the eye.
>     So I figure this is my chance for a little fun.
>          -- You know, Piece of Pisces.
>     But she said things I just couldn't fathom.
>     She was too deep
>          -- seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
>     Boy could she Drink !
>          -- She drank like a .....  -- Well, she drank a lot.
>     I said "What's your sign."
>     She said "Aquarium."
>     I said "Great -- lets get tanked !!"
> 
> 
>     [chorus]
> 
> 
>     I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.
>     I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
>     She threw me that same old line
>          -- "Not tonight, I got a Haddock."
>     And she wasn't kidding either, cause in came the Biggest,
>          Meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike.
>     He was covered with Mussles.
>     He came over to me and said "Listen Shrimp,  Don't ya come
>          trolling around here."
>     What a crab !
>     This guy was steamed
>          -- I could see the anchor in his eyes.
>     I turned to him.
>     I said "Abalone.
>          Your just being Shellfish"
> 
>     Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil,
>          Cause he was already on the phone to the Cods.
> 
>     The haddock hits me with a Sucker Punch.
>     I catch him with a left hook.
>     He eels over.
>     It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
>          -- Kelpless
>     I said "Forget the cods Gil, This guy's gonna need a sturgeon."
> 
>     Well, the Yellow-tail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend.
>     She came over to me.
>     She said "Hey Big Boy, you're really a game fish.  What's your name?"
>     I said "Marlin."
> 
> 
>     [chorus]
> 
> 
>     Well, from then on we had a whale of a time.
>     I took her to dinner.
>     I took her to dance.
>     I bought her a bouqet of flounders
>     And then, I went home with her.
> 
>     And what did I get for my trouble ??   -- A case of the clams !
> 
> 
>     Think I had a wet dream, cruising thru the gulf stream
>     ooo  ooo oo ooooh
>     Wet Dream  Cruising thru the gulf stream
>     ooo  ooo oo ooooh
>     Wet Dream  Cruising thru the gulf stream ................
> 
> 
>
>Again,
>
>Major Josef "Matrix" Burger, 81st  Airbourne  [Transcriber]
>and special thanks to
>Colonel M. A. Tilda   81st Airbourne, aka. JT&LFM's  [edit remarks]