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From: jha@uiucdcsp.CS.UIUC.EDU
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Dowry
Message-ID: <51700005@uiucdcsp>
Date: Mon, 7-Oct-85 00:50:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucdcsp.51700005
Posted: Mon Oct  7 00:50:00 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 10-Oct-85 06:45:03 EDT
Lines: 39
Nf-ID: #N:uiucdcsp:51700005:000:1787
Nf-From: uiucdcsp.CS.UIUC.EDU!jha    Oct  6 23:50:00 1985



> If you had a sister or daughter, given that her marriage would almost 
> certainly be an arranged marriage, and given that it would be very
> difficult (in some castes, impossible) to find a good match without
> offering a substantial dowry, and given the very real possibility of
> harassment if she did not bring a good dowry, would YOU refuse to give
> dowry?

   Yes. I would refuse to arrange such a marriage in the first place.
   On the contrary, I would encourage my sister/daughter to find her
   own match, and if a lot of people did that, the evil of dowry would
   certainly disappear.

> Someone must take the first step in eliminating this custom. And it is the
> groom. Typically he has the least to lose, and the most leverage to apply.

   It would be very nice if the groom took the first step. Realistically,
   however, it would be naive to hope that the party that has a vested
   interest in the perpetuation of this custom would call for its
   eradication. The initiative must come from the disadvantaged side.
   BTW, the groom is not the one who has the least to lose. Five lakhs
   (or whatever the current market rate is) is no chicken feed.

> To me, the most disappointing feature of this dowry mess is the fact that
> educated, affluent young men, including many settled in the US, accept
> or at the least countenance their family's acceptance of dowry. 

   Also, as somebody had earlier pointed out, parents settled in the US
   are giving dowries. I don't understand why girls raised in the US, or
   even in urban India, are pushed into such marriages. These girls are
   perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, and can certainly find
   their own match.

Manoj  Jha

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