Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site Shasta.ARPA
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!oliveb!Glacier!Shasta!sankar
From: sankar@Shasta.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: dowry
Message-ID: <1429@Shasta.ARPA>
Date: Mon, 21-Oct-85 17:06:09 EDT
Article-I.D.: Shasta.1429
Posted: Mon Oct 21 17:06:09 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Oct-85 04:13:43 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Stanford University
Lines: 26

Dowry is but one crime that goes on.  There are many others that go on
and emphasis must be given to everything.  How many of you, including
those of you who are against dowry, are willing to give your wives
or to-be-wives an equal responsibility in various household decisions?
I have seen people who boast about not having taken dowry, but at the
same time have never entered the kitchen after marriage.  How many men
would be willing to give their wives more responsibility in regular
day to day affairs?  eg. financial responsibilities?  How many men have
traded a bit of their job satisfaction for a bit more job satisfaction
for their wives, possibly by moving to a different place?  Dowry is but
one problem, the main issue is to give more equality to women.  And dowry
is the only problem amongst all these where the groom usually has not
much control unless he is willing to go against his parents.  There is
no need to boycott grooms whose parents accepted dowry, why dont we
boycott those grooms who have never cooked a meal for their wives?  I am
not a woman, but I strongly feel that the womans greater problem is
not dowry, but finding LOVE after marriage from her husband.

To conclude, personally I see dowry problems decreasing in India, slowly
we see cases of women taking stronger stands against the giving of dowry.
If I had a daughter, I would certainly not give any dowry.  I would
bring her up in such a way that she could make her own decisions in a
responsible way independently.  And love marriages are increasing at a very
fast rate, and in those cases there usually is no dowry, or discrimination.

Sriram.