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From: sriram@cive.ri.cmu.edu (Duvvuru Sriram)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: dowry & arranged marriages
Message-ID: <205@cive.ri.cmu.edu>
Date: Tue, 22-Oct-85 01:50:16 EDT
Article-I.D.: cive.205
Posted: Tue Oct 22 01:50:16 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Oct-85 08:07:50 EDT
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 34

GENERAL:
It has been a practice for several decades, in the region that I come from,
for the sons to inherit money from the parents.  Hence, the parents of the
girl give her share of the inheritance during the wedding. Sometimes this
comes in the form of a dowry to the son-in-law. However, most often they
give it to the girl in the form of some kind of a present. This will also
provide  income for the girl, if she is unemployed. That way she does not
need to depend on her husband for her financial needs.  There are problems
in this system too. Some boys may marry because they think that they are
going to get a substanial amount.  Abolition of the dowry system in India
will take time. We are a country of different cultures, backgrounds, and
languages. Both the parties (the bride's and the bridegroom's) should be
willing to do away with the dowry system. 

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
Although I disagree with the concept of arranged marriages, I
married according to my parents wishes. My parents did not mention anything
about the dowry, neither did they see whether the girl had any money. They
also refused high offers (in my caste the dowry/presents may run up to
$400,000). In fact my dad was at the other extreme. He wanted a register
marriage, but the girl's parents did not agree to this. 

QUESTION: 
What is your opinion on going round and looking at various girls,
before making a choice? Do you think that this is an acceptable practice?
This seem to happen in every country in some form or other  (in US,
although the concept of arranged marriages  does not exist, a number of
girls are dated (and vice versa) before marriage).