Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 alpha 4/3/85; site ukma.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ukma!slg From: slg@ukma.UUCP (Sean Gilley) Newsgroups: net.religion.christian Subject: Why should I believe (long, not a flame) Message-ID: <2309@ukma.UUCP> Date: Sat, 19-Oct-85 19:41:27 EDT Article-I.D.: ukma.2309 Posted: Sat Oct 19 19:41:27 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 21-Oct-85 04:01:22 EDT Distribution: na Organization: U of Kentucky, Mathematical Sciences, Lexington KY Lines: 85 Ya know, as it turns out, for lots of reasons, I'd like to believe in the Christian God. Or any God. It makes things a lot easier. You have this promise of a better life after death, and that's nothing to sneer at. I mean, even in it's best, when I'm enjoying life as much as I can, things could be better. And the Christian God says they will. But first I've got to believe. And what hurts, is that it doesn't matter what kind of person I am. I'm one of these ultra-liberal fools who think that mankind should be able to live in peace. I don't believe in killing anyone or anything, I would not serve as a soldier in war. I believe in helping others whenever pos- sible... in short all these things that Christ asks us to do. But I'm going to Hell. At least thats what all my good Christian friends tell me. Or what about another friend I have. She lives a life that is similar, perhaps better than mine, perhaps not. Why should she be relegated to Hell upon her death? I don't think it's fair. I know, God never promised to be fair. But lets leave the two of us out of it. How about all these people in other nations, that have been brought up in a different religion... A friend of mine says that every person will have at least one chance to become Christian, because they will hear the Word of God at least once in their life. But let's be reasonable. If you had been brought up your entire life as Hindu or Moslem, and then heard a Christian preacher once, would you convert? I wouldn't. It took me a long time to even consider the eastern religions as something other than laughable. Is that fair? I mean, how can you condemn millions of people for being born in the wrong country? I feel like that is essentially what it is. If God is a loving God, how can he do this? I know, I know, free will. And though that may be the correct answer, it doesn't make it right. I just don't understand. I was a Christian once. Until five years ago. Six years ago, after having been a Christian all my life, I became much more devout than I had been. I was baptised, went to church at least three times a week; the whole bit. The next year was hell. I've been told it was the devil trying to get to me. Well if that was it, it worked. I became suicidal. I came very close to killing myself then and there. With the help of a very good friend, (who was not a christian), I survived. After the initial night, I went to the youth leader of the church I was going to. He said it was fine that I was going to a counselor at school, but that he thought I should go to a christian counselor. Fine. As it was very late, he said he'd call the following day. (Remember, I was telling this person I was ready to kill myself.) I haven't heard from him yet. Ok, people aren't perfect, but when someone says they want to die, and they have come to you for help, you don't forget! Why would God allow me to become so disallusioned with life that I would want to kill myself? Following that year, I went through a short period of atheism, and then just began questioning. Which is where I am now. Questioning. My questions may have changed, cer- tainly they've become more to the point. And the ones represented in this article are just a few of many, but they are important. This is not meant to be a flame, it is meant to ask questions that maybe I'll get an answer to. I don't expect to be convinced, but I'm more than willing to listen, and respond. Sean. -- Sean L. Gilley Phone: (606) 272-9620 or (606) 257-4613 {ihnp4,decvax,ucbvax}!cbosgd!ukma!ukgs!slg, slg@UKMA.BITNET Watches are a conspiracy by Swiss confidence men.