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From: seifert@hammer.UUCP (Snoopy)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Do we "need" relationships?
Message-ID: <1555@hammer.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 11-Oct-85 22:39:03 EDT
Article-I.D.: hammer.1555
Posted: Fri Oct 11 22:39:03 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 14-Oct-85 04:16:49 EDT
References: <285@whuts.UUCP> <533@oakhill.UUCP> <286@whuts.UUCP>
Reply-To: tekecs!doghouse.TEK!snoopy
Distribution: net
Organization: The Daisy Hill Puppy Farm
Lines: 50
Summary: yes

In article <450@rti-sel.UUCP> wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly) writes:

>Obsessive longing for a shattered relationship and the feeling that
>life has lost its savor without that special person are not signs of a
>healthy mental state, folks.

Whoa!  Who said anything about obsessive longing...?  

> You might ask yourself WHY you fear the single state and
>are unhappy spending time with yourself.

Later in my previous article I attempted to explain that there's a
difference between "I don't want to be alone 100% of the time." and
"I don't ever want to be alone, even for 10 minutes."

> Because that's what the verb 'need' implies in this context: a
> feeling that you MUST have a relationship for life to be meaningful.

The original used the word 'need', I left it in when turning it around.
It's a stronger word than I really intended at the time, but
after thinking about it I think I'll stick with it.

> I can't come up with a single indication that the feeling of necessity
> you're talking about is either healthy or desirable. Can you?

There's a lot of things we're stuck with that aren't healthy or
desirable, ICBMs, for example.  I'm not going to try to defend
the necessity of relationships.  Like many things, it's rather
inconvienant.   Just pointing out an observation.  Some people
have relationships with an SO, some have them with friends,
or with themselves, or God, or nature, or their pet, or whoever.
The point is that relationships *are* necessary.  Anyone who
thinks they aren't is invited to go live on a deserted island
for five years and then report back.

Even if we limit the discussion to relationships with SOs, I
still feel that they can be necessary, but won't claim taht they
are necessary for everyone.

Perhaps a big part of it is knowing that there is something better.
Being alone just isn't as satisfying after having an SO.
Like having to drive one of Detroit's rolling disaster areas after
taking a German wonderwagen out on the racetrack.  Or dealing
with some braindamaged OS after using UNIX.  "How ya gonna keep
'em down on the farm after they've seen Parie?"

Snoopy (the occasionally blabby beagle)
tektronix!tekecs!doghouse.TEK!snoopy

"Life's too short to be driving Chevys."