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From: eom@rti-sel.UUCP (Estelle Mabry)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Nominally single????
Message-ID: <477@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Oct-85 11:44:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.477
Posted: Tue Oct 15 11:44:18 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 17-Oct-85 08:26:48 EDT
References: <285@whuts.UUCP> <3850028@csd2.UUCP> <320@whuts.UUCP>
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
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> Next thing you know, one person or the other is claiming things are
> not right with the relationship. In fact, it is nothing that having
> one of you stay home and take care of the house would not cure. One
> of my theories about the divorce rate is that you both just can't
> have the high-tech, high-pressure jobs, the family, and the
> relationship all at one time. This is the first time in human
> history when both people in a relationship generally are holding
> full-time jobs.


So, you think this is the first time in HISTORY that both spouses are holding
down full-time jobs.  Wait a minute!  Women have also held down more than
full-time jobs--they just didn't get paid for it.  I'm not just talking about
that myth of the ``perfect 1950's family'' where the husband was the wage
earner and the wife the nurturer ( you know, the one who raised the kids, kept
house, provided all the warmth, volunteered in the community, and generally
worked from sun-up until midnight).  I'm talking about the women and men who
settled this country by working as partners to make home, immigrant families
where both spouses worked in sweat shops as did many of the children in order
to have enough to eat, how about slaves where both ``spouses'' (in quotes
because many slave marriages were not legally recognized) worked the fields,
the pioneers who settled the west where the women not only did the ``wifely''
chores but also were major participants in farming.  

Sharing a relationship these days isn't easy, but it never was, so don't kid
yourself.  Whichever partner works at home instead of the marketplace will
meet the frustrations and confusions just as the other will.  There is no
panacea.  I should know, I've been there--on both sides of the fence.  Making
sure your mate is your best friend and being flexible are the only two truths
out there.  Sorry.

			Estelle Mabry
			a good friend of Bill's, as if you couldn't tell!
			(at least before his recent posting in response
			  to Frank Silbermann on North Carolina women)