Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site randvax.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!sdcrdcf!randvax!edhall
From: edhall@randvax.UUCP (Ed Hall)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: The Increasing Divorce Rate, and The Future
Message-ID: <2726@randvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 8-Oct-85 02:12:50 EDT
Article-I.D.: randvax.2726
Posted: Tue Oct  8 02:12:50 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 11-Oct-85 08:42:33 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP>
Reply-To: edhall@rand-unix.UUCP (Ed Hall)
Organization: Rand Corp., Santa Monica
Lines: 36

There has been a lot of back-and-forth about the fact that the divorce
rate has increased greatly in the past few decades.  Ray Frank blames
the liberation of women and the discarding of ``traditional values'' as
the cause of this.  I agree, 100%.  The increasing life-span is only a
minor factor in comparison, at least in recent decades.

But I differ most strongly from Ray that this is a necessarily bad
thing.  Fewer women (and men) are choosing to suffer in bad
relationships.  Women are asking for more out of marriage, and often
aren't getting it--and so are moving on.  Ray thinks this is
self-centeredness.  I think it is self-respect.  I think Ray is being
self-centered by expecting other people to live according to his
expectations.

We are in a transitionary generation.  Old institutions aren't working
very well (in many cases they never did, dispite what people think--
human memory is always selective).  We flounder sometimes in attepts at
forming new institutions.  We mix old and new in ill-fitting ways.  We
learn by doing.  Sometimes we make mistakes, and have to back out and
try again.

Thus, I think that the high divorce rate is a natural result of
transitions from old ways of doing things to new (and eventually better)
ways of doing things.  When have people not been self-centered,
especially in times of change?  It takes time for self-awareness to
develop beyond self-obsession.

Change is inevitable.  The symptoms of change are anathema to those who
fear it, as Ray appears to.  But we are very far from anarchy.  I fear
pessimism such as Ray's far more than the forces of change, because such
pessimism poisons the future, and represents a lack of faith in human
ability.  Enough people with such attitudes create a self-fullfilling
prophecy.

		-Ed Hall
		decvax!randvax!edhall