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From: seb@mtgzz.UUCP (s.e.badian)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Name Changes ("traditions that have evolved" disappearing)
Message-ID: <1247@mtgzz.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 9-Oct-85 14:00:50 EDT
Article-I.D.: mtgzz.1247
Posted: Wed Oct  9 14:00:50 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Oct-85 06:52:22 EDT
References: <5211@elsie.UUCP> <11302@rochester.UUCP>
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From ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank) Wed Dec 31 19:00:00 1969
>I never said that anyone was immune to divorce.  Also it takes two to get 
>unmarried.  

>Many marriage counselors today feel that marriages are not working because of
>the 'ME' attitude instead of the 'WE' attitude.  The 'ME' attitude is a
>symtom of this new age we have entered, you know, this period of personal
>enlightenment of rediscovering one's self.  The 'WE' attitude is more the
>tradionalists thinking from another age commonly refered to as the past.
 
Oh no! The 'WE' attitude is sexist! The 'WE' attitude said "The husband
ultimately makes all the decisions." In the past women has very little input
into what went on. If your husband found a new job in another city, you
moved with him. If your husband said you can only spend $10 a week on
yourself, that's all you got, since he made all the money. Traditional
marriage implys traditional commitment implys traditional sex roles
for men and women. It was a great deal for men, but a lousy one for women
who wanted to do more than raise a family and take care of a house.

The 'ME' attitude is where are two people in the marriage and each of them
has input. And you solve your differences through compromise. One side
doesn't do all the compromising. You work at it. In the past you didn't
have to work at marriages! Women were so will trained to think there was
nothing else for them to do outside of marriage that they wouldn't even
consider a divorce. And men were trained that they shouldn't abandon
their wives and children (though I would bet money that a lot more men
skipped out on their wives than the other way around).

Sharon Badian
ihnp4!mtgzz!seb