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From: edhall@randvax.UUCP (Ed Hall)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: what makes you feel feminine/masculine?
Message-ID: <2722@randvax.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 6-Oct-85 13:36:41 EDT
Article-I.D.: randvax.2722
Posted: Sun Oct  6 13:36:41 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Oct-85 14:33:14 EDT
References: <248@ssc-vax.UUCP> <1944@reed.UUCP> <32@ubc-cs.UUCP> <1201@ihuxn.UUCP>
Reply-To: edhall@rand-unix.UUCP (Ed Hall)
Distribution: net
Organization: Rand Corp., Santa Monica
Lines: 42
Summary: 

In article <1201@ihuxn.UUCP> jmps@ihuxn.UUCP (J. M. Sauer) writes:
> [...stuff I generally agree with about the asymmetrical nature of
>     sex-role switching -eh ...]

>It is not allright [for men] to wear a dress or to be emotional.

I can understand how any reasonable human being might not want to
wear a dress.  But I think that social norms about emotions define
more the *kind* of emotion that can be expressed than emotion per se.
Expressing anger, for instance, is considered masculine.  Expressing
affection (as opposed to lust) is considered feminine (in the US, anyway;
funny thing is, in parts of Europe it's not unusual to see male buddies
with their arms around each other and otherwise expressing affection
for each other).  Crying is most certainly considered feminine in this
culture.  Ambition (sort of a second-level emotion) is masculine.
And so on.

Men should be allowed to be affectionate or to cry, while women should
be allowed to be angry or ambitious.  And society actually seems to
be moving in this direction.  Slowly.

>In summary, an individual should do whatever makes them feel good (as long
>as it doesn't hurt others) whether or not society thinks this is
>masculine or feminine.  The only true masculine or feminine attribute
>are those physical attributes of being male or female, everything else is
>cultural including attraction to a MOTOS.

I hope you mean ``what is attractive in a MOTOS''; I doubt that either
heterosexuality or homosexuality are, at bottom, merely cultural
phenomena.  Otherwise, I agree completely.

>I hope Jamie can become comfortable
>with society's attitudes and that society eventually gives the same freedom
>in this area to men that it allows women.

I don't think it's that one-sided; in fact, I think the brunt of cultural
discrimination falls on women.  The begrudging acceptance of women doing
``masculine'' things is far from total.  The average Joe doesn't complain
much any more when a woman becomes a truck driver, but if his sister
or his wife tried to become one--well, *that*'s ``different.''

		-Ed