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From: richw@ada-uts.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Being Ruled By The 'Nads
Message-ID: <20800025@ada-uts.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 21-Oct-85 15:15:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: ada-uts.20800025
Posted: Mon Oct 21 15:15:00 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 25-Oct-85 01:46:48 EDT
Lines: 47
Nf-ID: #N:ada-uts:20800025:000:2197
Nf-From: ada-uts!richw    Oct 21 15:15:00 1985


Please E-mail complaints if you feel this should've been in net.singles;
I'd enjoy seeing this discussed here.

How would you react if your SO suddenly told you, "Hun, I've decided
that I don't want to sleep with you again (for several months, until
marriage, forever).  DON'T take it personally -- I'm doing it for
personal reasons."  (e.g. religious reasons)

---------------------------------------------------------------------
As they say, "now that I've got your attention"...

Donna Hachiya writes:
>> I have many friends of the opposite sex with whom I have platonic
>> relationships with.  Usually, when I decide to pursue this kind of
>> friendship, I make it clear that it is strictly platonic...
>> 
>> On the other hand, the people I "date" usually are not my friends 
>> initially.  It is assumed, more or less, that a sexual relationship
>> will develop if we get along well.

I recently entered a relationship with the latter assumption about
sex somewhere in my sub-conscious (and conscious).  The MOTOS I
was seeing, however, later decided to become celibate until marriage (for
religious reasons).  I then found myself dating someone that I suddenly
could no longer sleep with.  I was honestly suprised at how differently
I felt when I'd see her -- I realized that the end-purpose of the
date was (gasp) NOT the sack.  My God, I was seeing her because of her
company!  (If your SO suddenly nixed sex, how would YOU react?)

The point is that, until then, I NEVER considered
myself to be controlled by my gonads, like all those "other" men out
there only interested in sex.  But, suddenly being told "no" in
a relatively new relationship woke me up.

To make a long story short, I'd like to propose the following:

Date a person to first become their friend, and then sleep with him-
or-her if you get that far.  I've also found that sex is a lot better
that way.  In other words, I personally feel that the "date, get-along,
snuggle-bunnies, maybe-be-friends" order of things is sub-optimal.

Comments?  I'd honestly like to know if other people feel that sex before
friendship can lead to anything more than a friendship BASED on sex.
It didn't work for me...

-- Rich Wagner