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From: jla@inuxd.UUCP (Joyce Andrews)
Newsgroups: net.college
Subject: A Mother asks advice--this time not housing
Message-ID: <818@inuxd.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 21-Nov-85 11:35:45 EST
Article-I.D.: inuxd.818
Posted: Thu Nov 21 11:35:45 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 23-Nov-85 05:00:09 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Consumer Products, Indianapolis
Lines: 62

Thanks for all the replies about housing info for my daughter,
who has chosen Purdue.  Some of the replies from IU were really
funny.  (Do you Purdue people know that IU people call your
school Moo U?)

I wish to clear up a misconception--I am not looking for a
women-only dorm for my daughter--I don't care if she *ROOMS* with a
man if she chooses.  I was asking for the names of warm, clean
dorms that will allow a choice between studying and partying, and
are not so noisy that studying is impossible.  When I went away
to college 25 years ago I really didn't know what to expect and
my parents couldn't tell me because they had never been on a
college campus.  I'm afraid that I didn't use my time very well.
I would really hate to miss this opportunity to prepare my
daughter (and my son, two years from now) for what's ahead.

Also--I am a single parent with the sole responsibility for their
lives.  My daily work provides their daily bread, and a large
part of their college expenses.  They can't waste their one
chance.  There's not enough for a second go-round.  I've been out
in this business jungle for a lot of years and I have learned that
how they prepare now can ease the burden later on--and it's not
just a degree.  Knowing how to be business oriented is another
important lesson.  Learning it now will give them a head start.

Sorry--I didn't mean for this to be a sermon.  You college people
are important to me because you can help me understand the
pressures on my daughter and son, and you can teach me through
your experiences how to simplify the learn-to-be-an-adult processes
for them.

Ok, underneath all of this is a request for advice.  Since both
my kids want to go to Purdue it would be a tax advantage for me
to buy a small house (maybe a two-bedroom) in the town and pay a
mortgage, renting the extra room to another college student
during the time I have only one in school.  The question:  is the
first year in the dorm important?  Will living off campus be a
deterrent to the whole "college life" scene?  My daughter is
out-going and very attractive--she models part time and has a
confident, extrovert personality.  My son is content to live his
life connected to a computer keyboard (*ANY* computer
keyboard--not even any loyalties--is that abnormal?).  He does
not make friends easily, and prefers to be alone most of the
time.  Does he need the dorm life more than she?        

One other request for advice:  if I were YOUR mother, would you
prefer I get the heck out of your life and let you make all the
same mistakes everyone else makes or would you prefer that I
continue to research my database and offer suggestions?  (BTW,
I only offer suggestions--I never say "Do it this way!")

Thanks for reading this.  Your advice--any advice--is greatly
appreciated.             

                Joyce Andrews  AT&TIS, Indianapolis
                   ihnp4!inuxd!jla

P. S. Is Purdue really in a cornfield?  Is that corn field any
different than the ones around Bloomington?