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From: ryan@cwruecmp.UUCP (Ryan McGuire)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Joke Chalenge (answers 1 & question 2)
Message-ID: <1330@cwruecmp.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Nov-85 01:30:25 EST
Article-I.D.: cwruecmp.1330
Posted: Thu Nov 14 01:30:25 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 16-Nov-85 20:53:54 EST
Organization: CWRU Dept. Computer Eng., Cleveland, OH
Lines: 85


    About three weeks ago I posed the following question: 

"If you ate a math textbook, what would come out the other end?"

		and challenged everyone out there in net-land to come
up with funny answers.

   The winner for the most answers goes to Ron Williams:

>On first sight, this question seems complex, but taking a closer look we
>find that the real part goes to zero and the question is strictly imaginary.
>I guess the question is:
>     lim  f(x) = ?
>        x->#2
>I don't know, but if you're constipated you can work it out with a pencil.
>It certainly will be some derivative of the original.
>If you're lucky it will be a natural log.
>It could be painful if it's bound at both ends.
>And it's probably more crap on the way in than on the way out.

    Quite a few people sent in one of Ron's answers...

>"a few logs"					Kevin M. Schofield
>"logarithms"					tekcrl!terryl
>"Natural logs"					Bill Bulko
>"...with a pencil."				Kenneth Allen
>"...with a pencil."				Simcha-Yitzchak Lerner 
>"...with paper and pencil"			Martin C. Jordan
>"...take a slide rule to work it out."		saber!turner (D'arc Angel)
>"...with a pencil."				Jewel
>"...with a pencil."				Keith Shillington
>"Number 2"					Jeff Lichtman

    here are some of the other answers...

>"I don't know.  It's all hard to differentiate"
						Ken Kaufman
>"..a simple series."				Keith Shillington
>"..a shitty vector."				  "        "
>"Solids of revolution (ie. cylindrical cable) "
						Luca Vanzella
>"Alimentary Transformations"			Eric Norman
>"Biological functions"				Stella Calvert
>"...one course that would be difficult to 'pass'"
						Dave Kirby
>" if you're_a_computer_scientist
	then crunched numbers
	else a pile of shit      "		{sorry I lost the
						 author's name for this}
						{it't from U. Texas's CS dept}
 
    here's one I don't understand but will include any how:

>"Surds and remainders"				zinfandel!berry

    I'd say the prize has to go to Ron Williams just out of shere volume.
I'm giving second prize to D'arc Angel (with "...slide rule to work it out")
just because I think the imagery is particularly vivid.  And last but not
least, third goes to Stella Calvert ("Biological functions") just because
I said so.


   Now that that's out of the way here comes Joke Challenge #2 (no allusion
to the previous one intended).

The next question is...

________________________________________________________________________
What would you get if you lined a thousand computer engineers/scientists
    up end-to-end?
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not implying the Comp engineers and Comp scientists are the same thing,
just that you can answer the question either way.

As with the last Joke Challenge, I didn't know the question until I started
typing it.  And again, I don't know if the question is either too easy or
too hard; I hope you jokers out there can come up with something.  

Mail answers to me and I'll post the results in a few weeks.

					Ryan McGuire