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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!caip!topaz!unirot!pooh
From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: re: RE2: being attached
Message-ID: <199@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 13-Nov-85 18:08:53 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.199
Posted: Wed Nov 13 18:08:53 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 15-Nov-85 07:58:25 EST
Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ
Lines: 38
Keywords: presumptuousness, tender ego


Okay, Robert, let's say we are at a party, and you start
talking to me.  You decide that there is a good possibility
that I am entirely enamored of you; you also decide that I am
as sensuous as a road accident and want to "slow me down" by
mentioning an SO.

If I were enamored of you (which seems rather unlikely if you
were to display the same attitudes that you do on the net),
I would not be insulted; I would simply think, "Well, I'm glad
I know that he's attached and not interested so that I don't
feel silly in pursuing this further."  If I were not so enamored,
I would think, "That's nice, he has an SO," and perhaps ask you
what your SO did for a living, or some other polite inquiry.
Why is it not insulting to say, "My buddy and I went to see
that movie," and yet it is to say, "My husband and I went to
see it"?

If I liked you as a friend, my next comment might be, "Would
you and your SO like to come over for dinner?" or something
equivalent.   Since most of my friends are either SO'd or married,
I end up doing this a lot.  It's hardly traumatic.

As to talking about SOs with someone you just met and are beginning
to share things with:  if you are so touchy that you can't
discuss something like that with me, I probably wouldn't get along
with you anyway.   I'm quite used to strangers telling me their
problems, in person or in email.  It flatters me that someone would
trust me that much to open up to me.  

I can be happily single OR attached and discuss these things with
someone without getting all hot and bothered.

Cheers,
Pooh            topaz!unipress!pooh
                topaz!unirot!pooh

Turnips! Turnips and antifreeze!