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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!harvard!talcott!panda!teddy!lkk
From: lkk@teddy.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "Reality" of Electronic Communication
Message-ID: <1656@teddy.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Nov-85 14:44:44 EST
Article-I.D.: teddy.1656
Posted: Thu Nov 14 14:44:44 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 15-Nov-85 20:50:05 EST
References: <917@cvl.UUCP> <352@whuts.UUCP> <11@ttidcc.UUCP> <1617@teddy.UUCP> <1052@oddjob.UUCP>
Reply-To: lkk@teddy.UUCP (Larry K. Kolodney)
Distribution: net
Organization: GenRad, Inc., Concord, Mass.
Lines: 35

In article <1052@oddjob.UUCP> matt@oddjob.UUCP (Matt Crawford) writes:
>In article <1617@teddy.UUCP> lkk@teddy.UUCP (Larry K. Kolodney) writes:
>>You can even fall in love via computer mail.  But what have you fallen
>>in love with?  You've fallen in love with the intellect of another
>>person, NOT THE WHOLE PERSON.  There is a big difference.
>
>Wow, what a reversal from the old cliche' of "you just love me for my
>body"!  Interesting though.  When you think you might have a romantic
>interest in a net.pen-pal, should you exchange physical descriptions
>or pictures before agreeing to meet them?  I would go ahead and take
>a chance, because I don't consider myself to be very demanding about
>a particular physical appearance.  But wouldn't it feel a little
>weird to say to yourself "I know now that that's a very nice person,
>but it'll never work because they're too short/tall/light/dark/skinny/
>fat or just plain ugly"?  I think I would feel guilty about having
>such "unenlightened" feelings, but there it is and what can you do
>about it?

Physical appearance is only one part of the "whole person" I was talking about.
I was actually thinking much more of the way the person ACTS.  This 
really can't be conveyed except "in person", and I think it is this facet,
the part which communicates to you at a subconscious level, that really
results in the forging of emotional bonds.

People can have a "letter writing" personality, and an "in person"
personality, which can be radically different.  If your going to form
a face-to-face relationship, you have to have experienced that person
face-to-face.  

-- 
Sport Death,       (USENET) ...{decvax | ihnp4!mit-eddie}!genrad!panda!lkk
Larry Kolodney     (INTERNET) lkk@mit-mc.arpa
--------
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller