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From: chris@pyuxc.UUCP (R. Hollenbeck)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "Reality" of Electronic Communication
Message-ID: <113@pyuxc.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 14-Nov-85 09:25:26 EST
Article-I.D.: pyuxc.113
Posted: Thu Nov 14 09:25:26 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 16-Nov-85 01:18:15 EST
References: <917@cvl.UUCP> <352@whuts.UUCP> <11@ttidcc.UUCP> <1617@teddy.UUCP>, <1052@oddjob.UUCP>
Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway, NJ
Lines: 20

>a particular physical appearance.  But wouldn't it feel a little
>weird to say to yourself "I know now that that's a very nice person,
>but it'll never work because they're too short/tall/light/dark/skinny/
>fat or just plain ugly"?  I think I would feel guilty about having
>such "unenlightened" feelings, but there it is and what can you do
>about it?

But people do have such "unenlightened" feelings all the time.
Not recognizing and coming to terms with them is dishonest,
and can be damaging to the other person, since
those feelings may come out as hostility toward her/him.
Let's be honest, appearance is important to all of
us to some degree.  In a way, it's what separates
people who become friends from people who become lovers.

There is something to be said for email/e-writing,
however, which is that sometimes people will say
things on a terminal that they would never say
in person.  It's not the whole picture, I agree,
but it can enhance it.