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From: laura@l5.uucp (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: sesitivity (Claude, you're right and your not)
Message-ID: <269@l5.uucp>
Date: Fri, 15-Nov-85 13:17:58 EST
Article-I.D.: l5.269
Posted: Fri Nov 15 13:17:58 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 17-Nov-85 06:33:31 EST
References: <880@cvl.UUCP> <186@houligan.UUCP>
Reply-To: laura@l5.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Organization: Nebula Consultants in San Francisco
Lines: 35

In article <186@houligan.UUCP> farmer@houligan.UUCP (Claude Farmer) writes:
>
>          Anyways, I agree with Bird Dog.  The policy of honesty is best
>      when dealing with either sex and Bird Dog is merely being honest
>      though a bit obnoxious at times.  Finally,  "sensitive and caring"
>      is just another euphemism for lacking the backbone to be honest with
>      yourself (brutally if necessary) and others

I have been called insensitive a lot.  After worrying about it a lot, I
have discovered that most of the people who have asked me to be sensitive
simply want to be left in their bullshit.  But, unfortunately for me, there
is also another set of people who are not asking for dishonesty when they
accuse me of insensitivity.  

The problem with me is that I have very little room for pity.  Starving
Ethiopians, yes -- people I meet on the street, no.  You either get my
respect or you do not, and if you  do not I can't feel pity for you.  If
I am going to go the effort of hating or scorning you I don't want to hide
out behind the socially acceptable word ``pity'' -- that too is dishonest.
This is, in my opinion again, a good thing.  Unfortunately, when I rooted
out all hypocritical pity in the name of honesty, I managed to get rid of
some compassion as well.

But there is real compassion which holds no pity or dishonestry and is not
judging.  I have had glimpses of it, and it is wonderful stuff.  I know a few
people who appear to walk around with that level of compassion all the time.
They are not insensitive in the way that I am. So I think that while
``sensitive and caring == coward'' is a very good rule of thumb, it is not
the whole story. 


-- 
Laura Creighton		
sun!l5!laura		(that is ell-five, not fifteen)
l5!laura@lll-crg.arpa